Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML
Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
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Top comments
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Sweet.
toelie 26
There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.
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Comments (199)
Rocky007 15
Now I do too!
onlychildFTW 34
No 60. You shouldn't try that. That's one weird thing to jack off to.
Iniezian 18
I would think this FML would have come from Canada or something.
BoratSagdiyev 2
That's ****** up....that he masturbates to his own girlfriend I mean :p
manal705 2
Lol i think it's kinda sweet
mdavenport6 4
Doesn't everyone? Lol
MiniHalo 4
Yum. Bring the pancakes.
JoeCool6972 1
So play that fantasy. Next time he comes home, meet him in the kitchen naked holding the syrup and start squirting it on your body, then tell him to lick it off!
dragynfyre 4
At least he's masturbating to the thought of you and not some other girl in pancake syrup.
Steffi 26
Food fetish!