Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML
Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
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Top comments
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Sweet.
toelie 26
There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.
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Comments (199)
Cosmic_Horror 1
How this is a problem at all is beyond me. Are you REALLY that boring that the most innocent of fantasies puts you off? If you dump him for this I hope your next boyfriend is into poop.
vampgirl11295 4
Surprise him by sexily spreading syrup on yourself
tashaisbeast 0
That's funny
fmlahahaha 5
At least he's doing it to the thought of you !
SportyShain 10
Yum
Landrykm91 6
At least he masturbates to the thought of you.
gamer925 2
Well now u know if u want to turn him on u can get into a swim suit and pour some pancake syrup on yourself
shlee053 2
That is great! Lol
Yxagerbledink 4
It could be worse. He could be thinking of Mrs. Butterworth.
Pleasehumorme33 0
Why would...He... why?! 0.o