Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML
Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
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Top comments
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Sweet.
toelie 26
There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.
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Comments (199)
sunitgir 3
At least he's masticating to you...
erinchick1 7
Weird!
dwc2134 5
Why the hell shouldn't they try it? So what if its weird, if it gets them off more power to 'em.
ShyAnn29 15
How about masturbating in syrup?
htownpostman 16
Number 8.. I TOLD YOU!!
snafu63 0
Would you rather he ********** to the thought of another woman in pancake syrup?
coolbrony12 3
Well that's a sticky situation you got there.
ViviMage 40
Don't ever show him the mythbusters episode!
kaymi 17
I'm gonna be the syrup, he can be my waffle!
luvluvEgla 5
That's a bit disturbing....