Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML
Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Sweet.
toelie 26
There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (199)
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Sweet.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Shwing!
alpaquette91 9
At least he is thinking of you.
GatherTheMice 15
I moderated this one. Life=Accomplished
biggestfan23 11
#55 would you like a medal?
1awliet 8
55- You must have no life.
itsharkley 8
With what did he do that in? *XD* "You look delish in pancake syrup."
Bluefrog9636 7
My boyfriend imagines me covered in coleslaw, I'm just as disgusted as you are.
SystemofaBlink41 27
139- who said I was disgusted?
SystemofaBlink41 27
139- who said I was disgusted?
GuessWhatKids 13
Swimming naked in pancake syrup... sounds awesome!!
Leadamp 7
That is one sticky situation.
SuperDerp 8
Overused pun...... Level:Failure
omg36 7
That's hot
CountDuk 5
I though it was punny :P
DatRealAssTruth 3
Thinking tha exact same thing.
walmartpaysme 15
88, just thumb it up and move on.
kikimonole 13
I was totally about to say that. x3 Overused pun or not, it's still funny.
feefifofumxx 13
When you can twist three ideas into one small sentence, you've got my thumbs up.
Srs_business 7
The maple syrup isn't the only thing that makes this a sticky situation.
Hockeyboy4280 18
169- boy, you sure catch on fast, don't ya?
Paco_el_Taco 17
Better hide the Aunt Jemima!
sicksadworld1317 30
Yeah, for sure. We wouldn't want Mrs. Butterworth to know he's cheating on her, would we?
kittycat1597 10
I can never look at maple syrup the same way again....
betty_white 12
well now you know if you ever want to spice up your sex life you can take him to iHop
fylx100 19
Or maybe he was trying to hint at her that the next time they sex, he would like to involve syrup in it. I think he wants to pour syrup on her during sex. It's just a thought. Does anyone else agree? Or should I just go away because I'm over thinking this? Lol
dead247 13
I wouldn't mind syrup during sex. A bit sticky and messy but very delicious.
itsharkley 8
I once rigged my shower system to pour out syrup; supplied from the sink i pour it into. T'was sweet.
OhLohd111 11
48- I agree with you. He just wants OP to pour some sugar on him, fire their sex life up. It sounds kinda kinky to me. :p
gc327072 31
Pour some sugar on meeeeeeee
kazumaeri 4
Nice
toelie 26
There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.
zen1979 16
I think if he thought to include bacon with the syrup she would've been overlooked, if she had even been included
kirby1964 20
Wait? How is this a FML? He is thinking about you.
htownpostman 16
Careful.. The last time I questioned an FML I got an email threatening my account!
toelie 26
#8 is not saying the FML is fake. Did you?
gabrielle01 0
#12 every time I comment ....
Feverrotes 15
#12 - I hear you man. Wish the officials would explain what was so inappropriate than simply refer us to the Rules & Guidelines page.
RedPillSucks 33
Cause they don't feel like repeating themselves. They expect you to read.
acidkitten 14
At least it's YOU he's thinking about, I mean it'd be far worse if he masturbated to your dad swimming in pancake syrup or something :S
Just1Ash 10
LOL!!
laden_swallow09 35
Y'know, a click on the "thumb up" button would suffice.
perdix 31
How waffle!!! I thought this was so silly until I pictured you covered in warm sweet fluid, your **** buoyed up and glistening in the golden brown syrup. I can see you doing an easy breast stroke with your round shapely buttocks rippling with each frog kick . . . uh, I'm going to need a moment. . .
perdix 31
To me, it sounds like the beginning, middle and end of a great porno with multiple sequels!
gc327072 31
Go get a Twix then.
smitin 1
Anyone else read that comment in a narrator voice?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Its called whip kick :)
perdix 31
Boing! That sounds even hotter!
PleaseStayChill 9
I'm never going to look at a bottle of Aunt Jemima the same again. This comment will be the cause for awkward boners in the syrup section of grocery stores for years to come.
Ajwc101 24
159 - I'm laughing so hard right now!
DSiemasko1294 0
I don't know about you, 77, but I read it in Morgan Freeman's voice.
lyflycat9297 4
I'm not gonna lie, I just about peed myself laughing at this. Thank you.
little_one 20
I'd watch it. Maybe have two girls playing in the syrup. Then when the husband gets home and they filled the pool with syrup he punishes them with his... Pool rod!... Is there a technical term for the stick with the net?
deathpotato 11
The most delicious of fetishes.
josseposse 9
Well at least only YOU is on his mind!! It would have been worse if he thought of someone else!! (Misunderstand me right) :)