Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me the thing that gets him really horny. Apple sauce. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML
Today, while licking maple syrup off my wife during foreplay, I probably shouldn't have referred to her breasts as pancakes. FML
Today, my boyfriend let it slip that he thinks of my best friend when he masturbates because he like to have the "freedom and variety." FML
Today, after telling my boyfriend I was willing to try just about anything to revive our sex life, he confessed to having a swirly fetish. FML
Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML
Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML
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Top comments
Thizzkidsgotgame 7
Sweet.
toelie 26
There's just no pleasing some women. Be happy his fantasy features you at all.
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Comments (199)
deadboyparis 3
At least he masturbates to you. :P
BoratSagdiyev 2
I don't get that at all. Masturbation is the one time a dude is allowed to "be" with another woman lol.
meagy 6
You ain't got no pancake mix!
mayyberry 4
Hahaha oh god, one of the best FMLs
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Then favorite it.
DocBastard 40
You would perhaps prefer he ********** to your sister? Or your mother? Or your neighbour? He thinks about you, sweetheart. That's pretty damned rare. Unless the fantasy was about ******** on your chest (yes, I've heard that one), I'd even think about making his fantasy come true. He would love you FOREVER.
SerendipityRose 26
Damn right! When my Husband & I were dating & he told me that he jacks it to fantasies of me, I ravaged him in my happiness. Being the starring role in your someone's spanky time is a wonderful thing.
trollcrusher 17
Okay now OP, you're going to need a very large tub, a swimsuit, and a massive order of syrup from the grocery store...
lashes_to_ashes 14
He's masturbates to the thought of you, it isn't a particularly disturbing image and pancake syrup is good stuff. What's the prob? (:
BurningGrannies 16
Don't tell me you don't want to swim in syrup.
jedielf 23
There's some variant of Rule 34 in action. Way too detailed action.
LuckyLynx7732 5
Plastic tarp, check. Kiddie pool, check. Five gallons of Canada's finest maple syrup, check. Ok, lets get this party started.
gc327072 31
Chocolate filled with caramel? Not as good as pool filled with caramel. Life's lamer the Milky Way.
jimmyjazz24 4
At least he's jacking off to you and not another girl you should be flattered
laden_swallow09 35
A period should be in there somewhere. Tell me where.
Ray_of_midnight 23
That sentence had a pregnant pause--a/k/a a skipped period.
sweetmama88 6
I guess it's better then him thinking of some hot chic or someone else .