lunarstrain
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
WTF dude?
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Holes
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML
Juiced
Denver, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Excited
Today, my boyfriend excitedly showed me his new juicer, and used up all the fruit in the house making new concoctions. It was adorable until later on, in the middle of getting frisky, he asked if we could go to the grocery store to buy more fruit. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
That's that, then
Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML
Anonymous
Carlisle, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML
bunny
United States 🌶️ Spicy
What the…
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Kyra.45
Troy, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML
SadGf
Kinda hot
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Patricia
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Hard to believe
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
jessica
United States
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Top comments
alexm501 0
Hopefully it wasn't a banana
KennKenn 0
At least it wasn't apple pie.
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Comments (238)
phoenixslayer69 4
Mmmm warm cantaloupe!!
nateylovesporn 1
what kind of car is that in your picture?
phoenixslayer69 4
Ford gt 500 off topic a little don't ya think? Try the pm service next time.
murlocholmes 5
Well don't just stand there! Grab a banana and join the fun!
superficialheart 11
Just got wet over 19's car. Not going to **** some fruit though. That ***** messed.
XenaWP 6
As long as it's not a pineapple it's ok..
Tara_74656 7
pinnapples are yummy
drawmesunshine 17
Not post-coital ones. They're nasty.
BB_ava 0
Overpowered, as in "omfg, That guy just killed me. That shit is totally OP *rage rage*"
The_Troller 14
83- I beg to differ.
SpruceDread4578 13
40- you got giant breasts. Just had to say it.
drawmesunshine 17
101, and you, sir, are a giant prick. Just had to say it.
boarder540 12
*smack* shoulda had a V8!
FreshlyCut 0
Double penetration- banana style
italianlove17 0
That would be a bad time to find out he's allergic
Keyman1212 14
Oh hey honey... I read on the Internet you could make grapes more ripe by inserting them in my urethra. Want one? They taste great!
RavagedSoul 0
40 - OMG
GypsyRover 0
Women wellders are hot!!! :-)
ImFrackinBored 13
Best. Fml. Ever.
fonz1622 0
So I take it you won't have sex with him yourself?
wowthatsucks5 8
fruit ******.
monkeebalz 0
I bet she was apple-d (apalled) by what she saw He was g-raping that poor fruit
r0ckPrinc3sS 0
#242.... Major fail!
melliemoo17 6
Hahahaha
boringday123 7
Well fruit are actually ripened ovaries, so....
KennKenn 0
At least it wasn't apple pie.
NabbdjuretPerry 0
Fruit Ninja
saymynamess 19
You are too young to know that!!!
Sportsfan86 3
Did the fruit ******? Or...
Jewdazking23 5
#49 Hes 15. Whats the problem?
6tori6 5
if you didn't notice, it doesn't say whether op is a girl o guy, so he could be gay, and the fruit could be a cucumber.
TheNewGuy03 29
Then you'd have yet another sexual definition of "cream pie." Only it's an actual pie. |the kid|
Gloritank 8
American pie
Cat_Daniels 6
Exactly like the part in American pie when the dude has sex with an apple pie :P lol maybe he saw the movie and got motivated??
WhySoMad 0
Where does it say it was pie.. Dumbass
cBlackout 13
It was a movie referance.. Dumbass.
Catkam623 27
All I saw was sherminator ******* a grape fruit when I read this fml.
alexm501 0
Hopefully it wasn't a banana
yankfan89 27
Or a lemon, the acidity of the juice on his junk
VickLynx 6
Is banana even possible?
dre_bro11 12
17, what three meant was that OP's bf would have been using the banana as a *****, say, if he were using one. Although, if you slice the skin of a banana down the middle, then empty out the inside of the banana, you could use it like that. Just flop your dick in and off you go.
marmlr339 14
I've always wanted to try that
CryMoreFMLs 15
35 - Personal experience...? Or just a random "fact" you found on Google?
Andr913 13
64-Don't, it can break inside you.
j_cat187 20
No it was a pineapple.
pattycmom 12
If you have ever seen Weeds on HBO you would know how to use a banana lol!
ohmylanta22 5
Um, how old are you 17?
dre_bro11 12
104, I think I've seen it in a movie. Not sure which one though. All I know is I've heard it somewhere.
katieloveshim 0
for a guy? yes. a guy has a place too._.
Donnellando 15
'Just flop your dick in and off you go' - best line ever #35
nateylovesporn 1
it smells better than your vajayjay maybe?
hemz_fml 13
He probably listens to painkilleralready :D
sskarma23 9
Was the fruit exotic?
yeezheng 6
At least it wasn't a pie. Like in American pie. Now comes the bogus, American Fruit !
UrLyfSuxx 0
He'd rather have a fruit then you?
iliketurdles 7
Nope, he's just trying to get in to his 5 a day.
BB_ava 0
*than (unless you mean like he's ******* fruit then his gf)
TwitchingNebula 17
I'm actually thinking OP should put out more.
Tara_74656 7
time for u to make a substitution
Mister_Triangle 21
Vegetables?
Mister_Triangle 21
Vegetables?
godlike1 5
Well did you go grab a banana and have a threesome?
You_Need_Soap 6
It'd be a foursome.
Toowoo 3
Someone can't count.
zombicidal 11
actually it would be a foursome two people plus two pieces of fruit makes 4 but it was a dumb comment
zombicidal 11
i just realized 67 was talking to the person who commented not the person who said foursome I thumb down my own comment and weep
nakamura187 0
Actually that'd make it four since the banana and her are joining in. :p
drawmesunshine 17
It's ok, 256, go back to sleep.
leadman1989 16
Nice melons... :0
btnhdude 0
Ok i'm gonna let you in on something. You could have just commented on 6's thread.
Tara_74656 7
um... thanks... i think?
unluckiestperson_fml 14
We all get curious...
RedPillSucks 33
Not that damn curious!!! Hopefully, he isn't curious as to how it feels to have sex in traffic, on the road.
Martinez0285 28
No... No we don't :)
DjeePee 25
Come on, OP, be more specific about the piece of fruit. Was it an apple? Grapefruit? Lemons? A coconut? You can't hold important information like that behind.
rattusrattus 19
Durian, maybe? To remind him of his carefree teenage days when he masturbated into old socks.
Gia1o 4
What's op mean??
Commander223 9
Octopus Penis
thisisafunnyname 12
IT WAS A GRAPE!!!
LiveLaughFML 10
#50: oh my gosh, before you get wicked responses..OP really means original poster, which was the person who submitted the FML :)
whoopdydoop69 6
Don't lie #60 we all know OP means old pooper
Blackmail111 9
#50 It means "OPTIMUS PRIME"
sideshowIFG 0
Agreed. We need some more information. Like was he successful?!
DynamicDave 11
I thought OP meant Ostentatious Panda.
Epikouros 32
It must have been a jackfruit.
Wdgames 0
No, it's Orange Panther
rattusrattus 19
Ostentatious Pony. Alternatly, Obvious Prat.
tnlander 20
It was a peach; soft and fuzzy on the outside wet and squishy on the inside.
misszjen 7
You are all wrong, it was a Papaya! ;)
raaawwwrrZ 8
It was a tomato
70klicks 1
millions of peaches , peaches for me ...
flyestgirleva13 0
Original poster
bizarre_ftw 22
Obeism Practitioner
CurlyChica808 4
Obese Platypus?
coolstorybro6969 6
It wasn't until I reached the end of the comments before I got the octopus penis joke
JinxosGirl87 0
Orangatang Penis
lil_ham1644 29
@263 orangutan