Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NandaPanda 22
Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.
titandesu 14
wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (223)
ghostsoul21 12
You can still get pregnant on your period.. Just so you know so you know to use a condom just to be safe next time!
stezmina1 8
Did you not read op's full post? He stated that her friend told him that she bought the positive test online she is just crazy and not pregnant!!
introductionn 13
He said she was 3 weeks pregnant; not that she got pregnant while she was on her period. He means the fact that she was on her period lets him know that she was lying about being pregnant.
chazzywazzy654 22
Some women still have periods during pregnancy, just for reference, but in this case OPs ex is just cray-cray.
cadillacgal79 32
82-reference from the previous FML I hope?
LisaDay 14
#12, If you read it, she was not on her period when they had sex. She was on her period when they broke up. Reading comprehension must not be you're strong suit.
introductionn 13
#183, hey, you don't have to be an ass about it. she simply misunderstood; you act like you've never made a mistake before?
taterrtots 25
at least you know she's lying. whew, really dodged a bullet there!
uglyduck24 7
That's messed up..
hisfaceallred 19
you can get pregnant on your period, OP.
LoganEdJ 11
Ummm she said she was 3 weeks pregnant, and he broke up with her a week ago WHILE she was on her period. She can't be pregnant if she's having her period
JBChristian 47
Yes you can get pregnant while on your period. There's always a chance of pregnancy. And it is also very possible to have periods while pregnant, just not that common. No I'm not trying to say OPs ex could be pregnant, at all. I was just stating facts because y'all sounded ignorant.
LisaDay 14
You can have bleeding during pregnancy that looks like a period. My mother had it for the first 4 months of pregnancy. One of my friends had "periods" through her entire pregnancy.
1two3four5six 23
yeah but op's ex was claiming to have gotten pregnant 2 weeks BEFORE her period, so your comments are, for the most part, irrelevant.
Jghaugland 6
Swiggity swoogity thank god you didn't impregnate that booty.
JRT98 12
16, that was just perfect, I applaud you.
sharklover2017 11
She sounds like she can't let go of you and is doing anything possible to make you stay. And if you do, it doesn't seem like you'll be happy. Just avoid all contact, if she really is pregnant, then make her take a paternity test after the baby is born. Other than that, ignore her and live your life. Hopefully she gets the message and moves on to bother someone else.
highbanana 10
This is when you know to get away and stay away from her. Sorry OP!
fuckercakes 21
I'll tell you what you did wrong... YOU BROKE UP WITH A GIRL WHEN SHE WAS ON HER PERIOD.
Oswin_fml 10
You should tell her that someone told you that she might be pregnant to freak her out
Andicc 19
uhhh...what????
Saub 19
At least she's your ex now!