Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted a divorce and walked out. This is two days after she informed me that she is unexpectedly pregnant. FML
Today, I found out that, after a year of separation, my ex-wife is pregnant and due in a few months. The divorce became official a few weeks ago and the father is my former best friend. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I found out my ex-wife (who I have kids with) is now pregnant with another guy's twin babies. We have only been divorced a couple of months. FML
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
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Top comments
JHPugh 19
Yet her side is probably the one everyone will believe... Such a shame
Wizardo 34
Request a paternity test and oust her, heartless liars don't deserve any leeway.
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Comments (98)
iAlissa 34
Go figure - the cheater is trying to turn the situation around on you.
JHPugh 19
Yet her side is probably the one everyone will believe... Such a shame
Agtthepw 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Actually looks that she was in desperate need of pretty strong arguments for leaving if she could not simply say she cheated on you. People probably wouldn't have understood her.
Rkikkas9713 25
Do you think that makes it okay?
gobiteme2 34
They will believe her until the DNA test come back. OP will have science and truth on his side.
I_see_your_anger 10
You say that like they're smart.
vikky538 29
So much for equality
BMBBball31 15
Found the feminazi
Iwannarock1 19
I hope to see you on Maury!
Agtthepw 21
#28 not at all, on the contrary: u meant to say that OP is probably a great guy and that his ex needed to find fake shitty reasons to justify to her friends she's leaving him.
EatUrGreens 20
#88 you probably don't even know OP yourself and you're making assumptions LOL
kyrisonfusion 22
Ignore the rumours and just tell the truth. I just hope this doesn't cause any problems for you
Wizardo 34
Request a paternity test and oust her, heartless liars don't deserve any leeway.
ligerzero459 24
Yep, burn it all down. She deserves no quarter after this
higgysaurus 18
Well, unfortunately, it sounds like a paternity test may or may not work in OPs favor, cause the wife just said she didn't even know who's baby she was carrying
Death546 25
41 they can take the baby's DNS and OPs DNS, and if they don't match, it proves she cheated on him
Death546 25
Meant to say DNA
anonymuse_fml 31
72 - I think 41 knew that, but the FML said she said it "probably" isn't the OPs which means there is still a small chance it is. And obviously the OP and his wife were being intimate if he didn't question the fact she was pregnant at all so there is still a chance the test will come back that the baby belongs to OP which means there is no evidence he cheated and may appear as if he came up with the story only to make it seem like the wife was lying about the abuse (even though she was).
pokemyeyes 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Spray paint "slag" all over her car sign it with a random guys name then everyone will know
Gorjira 2
yeh i dont think anyone in the real word would sign thier name...
nyf137 20
Yes, because that will make people believe OP...
Talis99 26
#5, mature adults don't do stupid shit like that.
WitEluded 13
Does it matter? They are her friends, not yours and you are soon to be out of a bad relationship.
jocamo 24
Let's do some math. Say the soon-to-be-ex told 3 of her friends that OP is abusive. They tell 3 of their friends, and they then 3 of theirs, and so on and so forth. It wouldn't take very long for a lot of people think this. That's why it matters.
cole7895 14
Wow that's evil I'm sorry brother you'll get that girl one day you deserve it.
Agtthepw 21
Sounds pretty irresponsible for a soon-to-be-mother. Good luck to you and the future child to deal with it.
Tripartita 45
Really trying to see any sort of silver lining or humorous aspect, but damn, this just sucks. Hopefully, if her friends do believe her and are inclined towards violence, they won't try to harm you.
SkullSphinx 10
Make sure you bring that up in divorce court. That way she won't try to get alimony and child support from you!
LoverWordsFood 27
Listen to this information OP. Have a friend whose ex-wife cheated on him multiple times with multiple men during their marriage. He's sure the two kids aren't his but still cares for them like their his own. Make sure the bitch doesn't try to stick you with alimony and child support if the child isn't yours. I know that's a shit thing to say but if she's acting like a bitch, catch her at her game and make it know she's the asshole.
mimirawr14 17
The father has to be preset for him to be put on the birth certificate well at least he does in my state don't know if it's the same everywhere else.
bitchywife1105 6
not if you are still legally married!