Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
NandaPanda 22
Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.
titandesu 14
wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (223)
ZoroMiHawk 25
your ex is cray-cray!
boshbish 14
Ive heard of people trying to get their ex's attention but that's too far. Call her out on it. Sounds like she's not over you.
cryssycakesx3 23
I say not to say anything. she's not over him, best for him to keep his distance.
moondoggie 20
Keep his distance in kilometres you mean? That is one cray-cray ex. Run OP, run to the hills.
Saraj07 18
Good thing is you knew right away that is was a lie and also she is your ex so you don't have to put up with anymore antention seeking stunts.
gogators941 11
Run dude, just run.
ManualBeatle56 14
Sounds desperate Also why are people saying you can get pregnant during your period. She said she was 3 weeks pregnant BUT she was on her period last week. You dont get periods when your pregnant. Read it more carefully
moondoggie 20
errrm.NO. There are cases where you do get full normal flow because of the messed up hormones. But the giveaway should have been the story from her friend you know...
LisaDay 14
you can have periods while pregnant. My mother had periods for the first 4 months of her pregnancy, and I have a friend who had periods for the entire 9 months.
Joebeenfisted 6
It's sad babies are no joke wanna hear dead baby joke
j_cat187 20
what's worse than 21 babies in a trash can?
xoteeshaox 22
worse than 21 babies in a trash can?? one baby in 21 trash cans.
martin8337 36
Assuming that she is pregnant, get a DNA test to be sure that she's not trying to pin the baby on OP.
sailorarctic 22
getting pregnant while on your period or even having your period while pregnant isn't unheard of. But if her friend is telling you otherwise I say believe her friend.
judopow 7
Yup.
thorssin 8
play along and ask for a DNA test
badluckbryin 8
i'd be very grateful for that friend and the knowledge of her period schedule