Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
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Top comments
NandaPanda 22
Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.
titandesu 14
wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention
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Comments (223)
Saikon1357 25
Good friend you've got there OP. It's nice to see such people still exist. Sorry about your crazy ex though, definitely gonna want to avoid that.
jessandadi 4
She may be a psycho BUT you CAN actually get pregnant on your period! Make her go to a doc and let you come!
cryssycakesx3 23
why do this many people have do idea what's going on.
Lil_Red777 21
Because you can get pregnant on your period. I would know it happened to me.
ZorroRooster 19
Let him come? She did that already. That's how pregnancy happens.
kerbear1232 16
If she ends up going and getting pregnant with some guy just to make you believe it's yours, have her take a paternity test when the baby is born. Otherwise, she is just a psychotic and desperate bitch.
annie_nk 23
Psycho hose beast.
ghostsoul21 12
I know she didn't get pregnant.. I'm under the assumption he'll have sex again and the girl might be on her period.. He made it sound like he thought she couldn't get pregnant if she were on her period.. So for the future he should always wear protection
conaidws 7
He was saying that he felt there is no way she could be pregnant being that she was having her period when he broke up with her, not when they had sex.
cryssycakesx3 23
you've wrongly assumed, dear. this is nothing about having sex while menstruating.
LisaDay 14
If you read it, she was not on her period when they had sex. She was on her period when they broke up. Reading comprehension must not be you're strong suit.
acerredrum 23
Reading comprehension may not be her strong suit but you can also have your period, or at least bleeding that looks like your period, while you are pregnant. So her having a period is not an indication that she is not pregnant. (Though obviously the fake pregnancy test is.)
driinkbleach 18
May I just mention this is the only time I've ever seen someone use your and you're the wrong way in that context.. maybe writing isn't yours ,but I agree otherwise.
kelsorg 21
I hate stupid girls that try that shit. what the ****. don't talk to her.
ghostsoul21 12
Nevermind! I miss read the fml! My bad
cryssycakesx3 23
forgive my reply also, 38.
buckdharma 38
Your first response should be nonchalance.
cdalton 12
Sounds like she went cray-cray.
grgnyce 8
Best thing about this post is that she's your EX!