Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
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Top comments
NandaPanda 22
Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.
titandesu 14
wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention
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Comments (223)
sarahmaxine 19
Sounds like she wants you back.
skittyskatbrat 19
Too bad you can't get a positive Herpes test to show her......
DarkAngelsBlade 25
You can get pregnant while on your period.....
Merylwen 24
Not really. It's not impossible but extremely improbable as ovulation is supposed to happen halfway through the cycle. What's more likely is having a very fertile guy whose sperm has a longer than average lifespan (average is three days) and an early ovulation, but even for that the odds are still very slim. Anyway I think OP meant that he did not have sex with her because she was on her period (most people don't) and her period indicates that she was not pregnant when they broke up.
asherm 15
Glad her friend was honest with you. She's a good person for that! Your ex is psycho and pathetic.
sarneeley 14
It's good she's your ex girlfriend!
jmacfan1 16
Pregnancy tests don't turn positive until 4 weeks pregnant. Anyway she's a bitch OP
Merylwen 24
Actually most tests work from 2 weeks and the newest ones from 8 days after conception. But OP's ex is clearly lying either way.
amzlyk 3
Turns out she was just pregnant... With her ex
creepyclowntown 10
maybe you should date her friend, at least she is straight forward with you
mommy1213 7
Be careful, some women think their implantation bleeding is a period which occurs in early pregnancy. It's very possible she's actually pregnant. If she isn't though, shame on her!
Wyatttramantano 11
Crazy bitch