Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, three weeks after my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, she admitted it was a lie. Turned out it was just a test to see if I'd break up with her or not. I didn't, but I did just break the bank buying all the things we'd need for an actual kid. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my soon to be ex-wife told her friends that we're getting a divorce because I'm physically abusive. I guess that sounded better than the truth: that she waited 8 months into her pregnancy to tell me that the child probably isn't even mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks found out she was 2 months pregnant with her ex's baby. I of course broke up with her because I don’t need exes drama or babies in my life. My mother called me an atrocious human being for not staying with her after only three weeks to raise another dude's kid. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months found out she was 4 months pregnant with her ex's baby. She told me I could leave her and she wouldn't blame me, but I decided to stay with her. She told me she loved me and then dumped me because she needed to be with her baby's daddy. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML
Today, my ex messaged me, saying he got his new girlfriend pregnant and that he thinks I have something to do with it. He thinks I put it in her head that they should have a kid together, when he says he didn't want any in the first place. FML
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML
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Top comments
NandaPanda 22
Wow, sounds like someone is having a psychotic break... If I were you, OP, I'd avoid her at all costs. You don't need that craziness in your life.
titandesu 14
wait you can buy positive pregnancy tests online? that sounds like a terrible prank and a cry for attention
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Comments (223)
RockyG92 15
Hope all is well man! I would get away from her ASAP.
PennyLane27 32
Ohhhhh crazy chick sounds like my husband's ex gf from college!!!! She called him all the time well after they broke up. The straw that broke the camels back? She told him she was faking being pregnant to get some guy to be with her. Whyyyyyy!?? Whyyyy would she tell her ex she was doing this!?? Smh
PennyLane27 32
Also fwiw "3 weeks pregnant" = likely b.s.. for two reasons 1) docs measure pregnancy time from the start of your last period. So her timeline doesn't match up. Not even close. 2) the hormone prob wouldn't be strong enough to be detected. Never ever answer her phone calls. Don't cave. Cut contact.
metmimo 8
Um most women don't know they're pregnant until they miss a period. And a pee test will not detect Hormone until about 4 weeks
vikky538 29
and you confirmed it with her new boyfriend.. awkwardly awkward.. psychotic breakups leads to what not sorry OP...
poppunkette 22
Some women do have their period during the pregnancy it is rare but happens my best friend had her periods regularly for the first 4 months of hers. Luckily the baby was fine but she was on bed rest for most of her pregnancy
kittykat033 10
You broke up with a girl on her period. Of course she turns psycho.
tianyiwei 17
I would avoid that woman like the plague
bumblebeesmommy 5
Id be telling her you want to go to the doctors with her for a blood test .. It is possible to have your period during the entire pregnancy.
marramrammar 2
LOL- trying to suck you back in or exhort for cash. SMJ