Today, I poured myself a glass of Coke from the bottle in the fridge. While drinking it, I saw tiny pieces floating in it. Apparently, my boyfriend had drunk straight from the bottle in the morning, felt sick and threw up. He then put the bottle back in the fridge. I just drank my boyfriend's vomit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML
Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Today, I was craving a cold Coke, so I grabbed one from the freezer where I had put it to chill quickly. As soon as I opened it, the can exploded all over me and the kitchen. I spent the next hour cleaning sticky residue off the floor, surrounding furniture, and even the ceiling. FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to drink several shots of vodka after taking a pill that makes you sick when you drink. She puked all night and then blamed me for making her sick. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I was cleaning out some cabinets and stumbled upon a bottle of vodka. Being a recovering alcoholic, I immediately flushed it down the toilet. When my boyfriend got home, instead of being proud of my victory, he bitched me out for wasting the good shit. That’s for the support babe. FML
Today, I spent 2 hours scrubbing puke off the dishes in the kitchen. Why? Because my moronic flatmate was dared by his equally moronic friend to drink a bottle of castor oil and then eat an entire jar of marmite. As a result, he projectile vomited all over all the dishes and left me to clean up. FML
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Top comments
Lydmyers 9
Oh. my. God. that is the most DISGUSTING thing I have ever heard. As a child, a person's parents would lose their minds... so what made him think this was okay to do, as an adult? that would be a deal-breaker for me. deadset.
tounces7 28
Was he drunk or is he just obscenely stupid? If he was drunk FYL, if he's obscenely stupid, YDI it for picking him as your boyfriend.
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Comments (9)
Lydmyers 9
Oh. my. God. that is the most DISGUSTING thing I have ever heard. As a child, a person's parents would lose their minds... so what made him think this was okay to do, as an adult? that would be a deal-breaker for me. deadset.
tounces7 28
Was he drunk or is he just obscenely stupid? If he was drunk FYL, if he's obscenely stupid, YDI it for picking him as your boyfriend.
The_Cat_Scientist 7
Why are you still with this disgusting excuse for adult human being?
Brigfture 7
Guess he kept it for later snack
rainbowdonnareed 18
So once you finish with brushing your teeth after throwing up. Al-ANON might be a thing you want to look into
mando 10
Disgusting, but pretty funny.
samomaha 17
Deal breaker. Anyone stupid enough to do something like this . . . well, it's only the tip of the iceberg. Time to leave. Today. Good luck to you.