Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, I was eating pizza with my boyfriend and my friends. I was laughing and talking and went for another piece when my boyfriend grabbed my wrist and said that I had had enough. My friends all backed him up. FML
Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML
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Top comments
amart402 0
so break up with him. duh.
dreamer13 0
Ass Alert
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Comments (274)
jenr0330 0
he's lucky that YOU don't break up with HIM. better yet, why don't you. he sounds like an a$$.
arman1717 0
DUMP HIM
tb15 0
Today, I stole a bite of my girlfriend's hamburger. She threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, she said how lucky I was she didn't break up with me then and there. FML I feel like the comments would actually be completely different with gender reversal
Sir_drink_alot 20
Completely agree, don't steal people's food.It is very simple
zax_fml 0
ydi for letting someone treat you like that. next time spit in his burger and then smear it on his face.
nicko_oz 4
sorry but you deserve it depending... i hate when ******* people go "can i take a small bite" and their bite is half the burger or "can I take a sip" and they guzzle down half your drink... not cool
vbmg152 19
don't touch another persons food! Gross! I woulda broke your arm. No one wants your germs on their food. a good lesson for you.
boomboompow_fml 1
So he is fine with sticking his tongue in her mouth but not with sharing food. 0_o
Dc040583 6
I've gotta agree with the other guy. When you're dating someone, unless there are major emotional issues involved, you generally have so much intimate contact with them that something like sharing germs on a bit of food is a bit inconsequential. I don't touch strangers' food, of course, and would be offended if a stranger touched mine, but I've got a cousin and a dear friend that offer me bites of stuff they've bitten and take bites of stuff I've bitten. With someone you're actually close to, this isn't a big deal... which tells me that yon turd 1. has major emotional issues and 2. doesn't feel very close to his poor girlfriend. :P
Mawiuhh 0
This kinda reminds me of "JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD!"
leadrunner751 3
break up with him here and now
808heaukulani 0
Damn straight, never f
omgzdude 0
I think you should dump him. jerk.