Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
Well? Didn't you want some? Why are you playing those love games?
mrszane93 5
Say " After you eat my pussy"
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Comments (181)
shift_love 13
Well? Didn't you want some? Why are you playing those love games?
Trisha_aus 15
What a gent!
melikeyturtles 3
Dick is always good with some dessert.
melikeyturtles 3
Dick is always good with some dessert.
hthelittleone 10
Do you love me? Could you learn to love me? Haha maybe she had a little too much of the Funk.
treschanna510 8
Well, your boyfriend sounds like quite the classy fellow!
BulldogHoops 14
That man is a go-getter.
Inheritance 10
Atleast he was being modest and saying what's on his mind. Props for trying.
NuTrees 9
You know you wanted it anyways. Heck, you got it I'm sure. Why else for the scented candles??
Ch0sen 13
I somehow first read it as "want some dick in the ear?"
KMtheDrummer 6
IM OLD GREGGG
stef108 3
So? Why so uptight?
oxford247 2
Ha ha, I'm old Grrreeeeegggg!
aaahhhfire21 0
Wait so that's not how you end a romantic night properly?
downtime 13
Fresh flowers, scented candles, romantic dinner? Yeah, sounds like you were giving him what you wanted from him, and he returned the favour.
masterass333 0
Do you love me You playing those love games With me
22cute 17
56 - do you know the meaning of modest? Look it up; you're using it wrong.
22cute 17
148 - actually that's the only reasonable explanation I've seen here. Still, it wasn't the time. Follow through with her way once before you jump to your way.
marigoldcobain 21
148, there are plenty of ways to seduce your girlfriend. Whispering "Want some dick?" into her ear is not a very functional one
kevint9911 15
What did u expect?
TheLoneWandererX 2
The Dick?
mars13_fml 8
That is what I was thinking. The guy is going to want sex after all that to finish off the romantic evening
OhDearBetrayal 25
23- It's not romantic when someone is that blunt about it.
ebonyirony 29
A dick in a box.
nofearjenshere 12
It's my dick in a box!
wildsweetchild 19
a dick but in romantic fashion.
MrLibya 2
A romantic diner then a instance night, seems right.
Ambience138 11
@#48, yes, yes it is.
mars13_fml 8
48 True he could've said it better but she still should have expected something like that.
22cute 17
She expected to have sex, you morons. But she was carefully creating a romantic mood. His comment blows the mood big time. Some guys think a girl will be seduced by him saying, "I've got a hard on!". Women are just not that simple minded. Well, with the exception of you #101
COOL__Coal 12
I hope you said yes because it sounds like he was serious.
claudzzzz 5
lmao so hes blunt...?
onlychildFTW 34
Blunt can be better. But really OP you Gould have known he would want sex. Romantic evenings normally mean "let's have sex to finish it off." otherwise there is no point.
Spicemelon 5
There is a point! A Romantic evening can be bonding time. It doesn't have to lead to sex
MrSassypants 34
32 so basically there is no point in any romantic doing unless you are getting some. Girl-"Look at those beautiful earrings!" Boy-"Hey they are beautiful. How about we go over to my place and you get the dick before you get the earrings?"
Drigr 9
Fresh flowers and scented candles..?
Spicemelon 5
Where was the violinist?
KiddNYC1O 22
I initially read this as his favorite meal being fresh flowers and scented candles...
wild_n_out 8
Yea, I was thinking she was dating a horse.
lilpsyco 16
Reading 150 caused me to visualize a horse whispering (want some dick) to op during a candle lit dinner.
Deathonabun 1
This is where you and I differ. I would've said "Hell yeah!" :P
melikeyturtles 3
After a romantic dinner, it would have eventually led to the bedroom.
melikeyturtles 3
After a romantic dinner, it would have eventually led to the bedroom.
Javalounge 0
OP should've said "I've got one" and pointed to him.
Trisha_aus 15
Well the night would eventually lead to you know what, so your boyfriend was thinking ahead..what a way to take the initiative
whennotlooking 0
I'm not sure how to respond to this... It's just, he killed the mood sure, but is this really an FML?
SavingRyansPvts 4
The man was trying to get everything he possibly could out of your feeling of kindness!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Maybe he meant some Dick Tracy. Nothing like a nice mystery!
elephantom12 9
Yeah, you wanted some dick.