Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
Well? Didn't you want some? Why are you playing those love games?
mrszane93 5
Say " After you eat my pussy"
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Comments (181)
brhodes_09 1
How was it ruined? Lol. I would've have laughed and said sure. Don't let little things like that ruin your evening.
sceaniebeanie 1
How is that **** my life worthy? That's a really funny moment that also makes your relationship stand out from boring. He obviously appreciated your efforts & was going to give you want you wanted.
Stoopid_life 2
Wait I'm confused....did you say your boyfriends fave meal is flowers and candles? Or is that what was used for decoration!
lottie333 0
guys are all about sex
gravygecko 2
You sound like a very selfish person. No straight man wants a "romantic dinner with flowers and candles". You did for him what you wanted for yourself. He reminded you what he truly wanted and you got mad at him for "killing the mood". He'll be cheating on you in less than six months.
iamslimshady 1
He coulda meant he wanted to share the spotted dick I hear it's a delicacy in England :)
CarouselHeart 11
Jeez, I can't believe everyone automatically assumes this is dickteasing. Maybe she was just trying to do something nice that didn't involve sex?
Joui_fml 11
That's too bad. You should ditch him.
MiSsNiKiTa 4
Lol, are you married to my husband too?
BestestMama 6
And the problem is ?? Sounds good to me !