Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
shift_love 13
Well? Didn't you want some? Why are you playing those love games?
mrszane93 5
Say " After you eat my pussy"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
Harpy20 24
Well that sounds fun! Sorry OP. Your guy sounds like a douche. He could have been a little more sensible and considered your feelings.
wlddog 14
Or,,, she could grow a sense of humor and play along with his joke. Course, that would require her to relax and be able to enjoy life a bit but I am guessing your in the same boat she is, so this advice is for you and the OP. LOOSEN UP! WHY SO SERIOUS?
mrszane93 5
Say " After you eat my pussy"
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Poor Furball.
ayala92 0
Hey
Unbweavable 17
Maybe you just give him a vibe that says "I'm that kind of chick" Ijs
Trisha_aus 15
Which kind?
MrSassypants 34
That kind.
groupleader 7
He COULD have just PUT his dick in your ear....
retyi43 14
HAHAHA
Spicemelon 5
Or in a box
ICastillo 25
I'm not going to lie, that's probably as romantic as a guy is going to get. Hmm how can I be romantic......oh I know with my dick.
Shrike 24
Speak for yourself, but don't project your own failings onto the rest of us, kid.
ICastillo 25
I'm not a kid and it was joke man chill out. I just mess around when I post comments, so people don't take them so serious.
kittenvks 11
I think the entirety of the FML community is going to try to take this too seriously 26, I thumbed you up because I saw the humor in it.
ICastillo 25
Thanks, but to bad there are people like Buzz killington over here who thinks FML comments are all serious all the time.
misterjez 15
You have a very cute smile Noor.
Fiskerz 0
What's the chocolate bar? Only 6% of the pop is black...
perdix 31
Were you just teasing the poor bastard?
22cute 17
What a bunch of maroons! Obviously, she wanted sex. The point is, she was demonstrating for the poor caveman how to seduce a woman- romance. You're a lot sexier when you're serious, Perdix.
Sinsation 7
I feel yah. I've had times where I've felt as if there were butterflies in my stomach and warm feelings in my heart w/ my BF... Of course, he then ruins the moments by asking for a BJ.
mrszane93 5
I know right. It feels awkward when the guy asks for a bj. But then again some females won't just do it so they have to be upfront about it after giving hints. If the mood is right, give a bj right before sex. He may return the favor or even do you first. If he licks first then definitely give him a bj afterwards ;)
kittenvks 11
Well I assume in this case that the chocolate bar may have actually been chocolate!!! DUNH DUNH DUNNNNNN can u imagine?! Well... Just saw where you beat me to it Noor, sorry :)