Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
Well? Didn't you want some? Why are you playing those love games?
mrszane93 5
Say " After you eat my pussy"
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Comments (181)
MrSassypants 34
Lulz 35, gud 1. But in all seriousness, what in the hell kind of comment is that? If I was that stupid, I wish I would be at least smart enough to keep my stupid thoughts to myself. Since I am not that stupid, who wants to rude shopping carts down an escalator while we try to avoid the dangers of 35's stupidity?
alexisss429 0
3============D~~~~~~
Sk1ttles 0
He probably felt like a girl with all the flowers and candles so he needed that little reminder...lol
iTrumpet 7
Men can be so chauvinistic and single-minded sometimes...
BunchieRules 31
Yeah, but that's not possible for women, right? :/
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
Well... he figured you gave some, so now you shall recieve ;)
perdix 31
If I ever got a treatment like that, my question would be: "What the **** did you do to my car?" or "Who did you sleep with?" Most likely the car one. :D
sajupt 17
What were u expecting?
boobear90 3
Seriously ugh immaturity at its finest!
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
You don't sound all to mature either, love.
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
*too
enjoi200 0
kid named boobear saying shit about immaturity haha..nahh
Temaz 0
wouldnt ruin my mood!!
DaisyPink 6
I totally understand how that didn't do it for you about as much as the scented candles and fresh flowers didn't do it for him. Just explain to him how that made you feel, but you just have to accept that men and women are two totally different creatures.
SeedlessMe 13
That's what I was thinking! Sorry OP, but you realize your 'boyfriend' is a guy right? Flowers and scented candles? Really? Did you expect him to turn into a girl?