Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to a really romantic dinner. Later, I lost my virginity. The chicken was better than he was. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, I told my fiancé I wanted to hear something romantic. He said, "My dick loves your mouth." I guess that's as good as it's going to get. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were on the phone. He started talking dirty, and saying how horny he was, etc. So I decided to play along and said, "I want you to picture me naked, baby." All of a sudden I heard a huge sigh. He responded, "Ew, that just killed it." FML
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Top comments
shift_love 13
Well? Didn't you want some? Why are you playing those love games?
mrszane93 5
Say " After you eat my pussy"
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Comments (181)
theried 3
Yeah....if you didnt see that coming from a mile away then f your life for being that ignorant of how men work. With a night like that you may as well have put yourself on a plate right along with dinner cuz that's basically what you did.
reddudeover 2
But op his dick was dressed up in the cutest little dick-tuxedo. Little top hat and all.
GarysMom725 10
It's that kind of attitude that got my ex a divorce. Men really need to wise up.
phatdaddy62 23
Garysmom, you know how we guys are. If you want to be with us, you deal with it. Just like we deal with the damned scented candles and all that crap.
oxford247 2
No Garysmom it's YOUR attitude that got you the divorce. Take responsibility for your own actions and choices. Stop blaming others.
eccentrix 12
Damn sense-of-humor-having guys. Wise up and get serious! Love is no game and a romantic dinner is no time for fun!
luvscomplic8ed 6
He's a keeper
Ambience138 11
I've gotta say, flowers and candles are pretty friggen gay. Poor guy.
Eclipse003 1
Did you say yes?
KiddNYC1O 22
Yeah, snickers has a cocky look.
RemedyMarks 1
What's wrong with that. If a guy organized something like that for a woman and she responded with 'u want some ass' it's would be normal
musiciangj14 3
Keepin' it classy.
vbmg152 19
That's a dude for you! What were you expecting? Girls think differently about those things than guys do! He probably thought he was being romantic! I've been married 25 years! Don't expect him to change!