Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I stole a classmate’s graphic calculator because I couldn’t afford one. She reported it missing to the professor. He wouldn’t let anyone leave class until it turned up. Not even saying I had diarrhea had him let me go. In fact, he told me to empty my backpack right there and then. I’m suspended. FML
Today, I realized the cute guy in my Spanish class only talks to me so he can steal my answers. He asked if I'd give him the answers for the final as well. FML
Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML
Today, I decided to to gather up the courage to ask the cute boy in my math class for his number. He gave it to me, and I texted him later that night. But little did I know he actually gave me the number of the creep in class who is always grabbing my ass. I ended up asking the creep out. FML
Today, I realized out how sad my love life is when I got excited that the number a girl gave me turned out to really be hers. FML
Today, in math, I was working on an assignment and this really cute girl comes over and says my name. At this point, my heart is pumping with excitement and I'm thinking she is going to ask for my number. She said, "Did you know someone drew a penis on your back?" FML
Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I got my precalculus final back from my teacher. I got a 17%. I told her that there had to be some mistake, because my classmate had the same answers as me and she got 100%. Not only did I accidentally admit to cheating, but our test papers had different questions. FML
Today, while in class, a cute boy came up and asked me for my number. I giggled and wrote my phone number on a piece of paper and told him to call me sometime. He gave me a weird look and walked away. He was asking which number math problem I needed help with. FML
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Top comments
Nyx_fml 23
Just tell him this: "If you were sin^2x and I was cos^2x, then together we'd make one." Then give him the calculator so he can see for himself.
tabbydionysis 18
Looks like your relationship just doesn't add up!
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Comments (59)
Nyx_fml 23
Just tell him this: "If you were sin^2x and I was cos^2x, then together we'd make one." Then give him the calculator so he can see for himself.
soccerstar1996 18
I think would be a lot less complicated to say she was the pi/2 to his sin (x) and together they'd be one
Murilirum 23
Buy him a new calculator and give it to him (still in the package) to show you care about his calculator but don't know what happened to it. That will rebuild any connection lost in the accusation.
vipirius 18
Dude, do you know how much those calculators cost?
The_9th_Doctor 18
try to explain it to him. maybe he'll listen
hcollins1 18
Maybe that's his weird way to try and talk to you?
ElricMustang 23
I dunno about you, but I wouldn't wanna start any relationship with my SO with "Remember how we meet? When I blamed you for stealing my calculator just to get to talk to you?"
hcollins1 18
You never know, some people can be weird like that.
tabbydionysis 18
Looks like your relationship just doesn't add up!
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Yep- they'll never multiply.
NoFlippinWai 24
If the relationship was furtjer along, theyd have to divide their possessions.
kurodansei 16
Nay! This is an opportunity! Tell him he can have it back if he takes it's place as your math tutor... well if you had the calculator it would work.... maybe..... OPPORTUNITY!
ninad7 12
...well that's one way to get him to talk to you
emilycb93 12
Well if you didn't actually steal it, then he has no reason to not like you. Just tell him you didn't steal it, and flirt with him.
JaegerMayCry 13
What I uave to wonder though is what OP did to that guy in order for him to accuse her of stealing his calculator
Knightchaser27 25
Maybe she has a similar calculator
vipirius 18
Maybe he sent the same e-mail to everyone in the class in hopes that someone would confess, that's what I would do anyways.
Jared900DUmpling 30
He probably thinks that graphs have nicer curves than you. Even still, he's probably not the one for you.
DFresh503 8
Sounds like dude is a nerd. Nothing wrong with that, but just be aware of it OP. Us needs are hard to deal with. Don't come between a man and his calculator!
DFresh503 8
Nerds, not needs
Welshite 40
I have three scientific calculators. I treat them like my children.
MrSassypants 34
#I treat my calculator like my child as well. I push his buttons, keep him in my backpack, and drop him on occasion.
skyeyez9 25
Some calculators are expensive. I'd want it back too.
MrSassypants 34
That "#" was supposed to have a number twelve after it, by the way. I just want to make it clear that I wasn't using the pound key as a hash tag. I don't do those kind of things; I think they're stupid. #thetruthhomey4realziez
Redgrass7 7
Word you stole his calculator? Let me know if that works ima have to try that.