Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for twenty minutes because of a football game. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, I was at my new apartment. My fiancé was coming home so I filled the apartment with candles and put on some sexy music. When he came up to my door, I answered the door, naked. What I didn't know was that he was bringing his dad to see the new apartment. FML
Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML
Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML
Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my boyfriend by cleaning the entire apartment before he came home. I even lit a candle and put fresh flowers on the table. When he walked in, he stared at everything and said, “Did someone come over?” My boyfriend thought a cleaning service had been hired. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
It takes approximately 0.285 seconds to realise that "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye is the best mood music ever. EVER.
shireman97 6
That's some odd foreplay
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Comments (100)
shireman97 6
That's some odd foreplay
zandalee 20
Should have had Barry White crooning in the back ground.
CheeseTron 15
The right song is a MUST. Don't rush him.
The_Weirdo 10
Living in the sunlight, Loving in the moonlight -Tiny Tim. Thank me later.
desireev 18
48- You mean completely over-rated songs that everybody plays? In my opinion, I'd play some soft rock... Or something like the song "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails... Or maybe even something fun like "Brass Monkey" or something! My point is that you DON'T need r&b baby-making music to get it on! Mix it up a little!
Futacy 30
Sir Mix-A-Lot
ebonyirony 29
I imagined a girl in sexy lingerie sitting on the bed on her computer, typing on FML while a guy is looking at an iPod fumbling through music. Sorry for the run-on, I wasn't sure how to end it and I'm drunk and tired. I still wanted to post though.
Kefka91 15
55 - Thank you! I've always wanted to do it to "closer" by NIN, but unfortunately, none of the select few that have been nice enough to sleep with me are as cool with it.
SyddTheeKydd 3
55- She can play what she wants to play that she feels will get her in the mood. You might have a different taste than her.
DictatorDom 5
I've always wanted to have sex to Beethoven...
rhysfucker 24
9th symphony?
RedPillSucks 33
how about the 1812 overture? I know its not bethoven, but the canons at the end...!!!
ebonyirony 29
3- oh my brother. Would you not enjoy the simple beauty of old Ludwig van?
Tdot36 5
How about the epic rap battles of history?
amisenho 11
Eh, I'm more of a Mozart/Debussy kind of person.
iCherryPanda 12
Gotta be prepared!
DocBastard 40
It takes approximately 0.285 seconds to realise that "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye is the best mood music ever. EVER.
gc327072 31
Depends whether op was wanting slow and steady or fast and intense. If B, something rock n roll would be it.
TheDrifter 24
You must have a rather extensive music list in your head Doc. .285 seconds is a long shuffle of the internal playlist.
theslimshadylp 6
I know the words LETS GET IT ON are in the song. Should've been a no-brainer.
WhoSaidThatIsh 13
Many children have been conceived to that oh so sexy song...
Screwie 25
Doc, I wanna meet you. ;D ... But then I need appropriate rape music for the moment.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Rape music?!?
amisenho 11
Screwie, I seriously hope you were auto-corrected and meant "rap". ...Wait. Screwie, I seriously hope your phone didn't auto-correct "rap" to "rape".
mpsteve137 15
Haha yal can make your own music with a chorus of moans
mpsteve137 15
B'alls
desireev 18
38- Y'all.. Not ya'll..
LiterOfCola 16
Nobody gives a shit how someone spells "y'all." it's already slang in the first place 38, you son of a bitch
mhopper 13
Some Barry White can set the mood! Honestly though, you should have thought of this beforehand.
dog1999 2
**** the music the woman just initiated sex!!!
EnterSandman_fml 20
Another song that's a pretty great mood setter is Santana's instrumental entitled Europa.
thelastavailable 13
What's the sexy outfit?
allie2590 31
I know you're referring to a previous FML, but I don't think too many people like peanuts in their butt crack.