Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
music_woman1 11
I can't help thinking that if he's this comfortable with you then you've got something special
viper64 10
Well, looks like you have to fart back, OP. Maybe that's his idea of a turn on?
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Comments (84)
SenselessPattern 12
Go ahead and down vote me, but if you ask your boyfriend a cliche love request or needy question and they are obviously too tired or are confused on how they should respond, it's truly not the end of the world, whether you feel like it is or not.
Alastrina_fml 20
"I think there's a lack of intimacy in our relationship". Usually an awkward conversation starter. Either the relationship is at an end, or take matters into your own hands and either pounce on the schmuck or get a vibrator.
15949058 4
Atleast my boyfriend doesn't do thatO.o But in yout postion, either leave him, or try it at dinner.
CarouselHeart 11
And...why are you with him?
strongmomma23 4
right sound like you need to get rid of him..
ungawd 3
Here's a hint: Don't try talking to him before bed. He could've been exhausted. Talk to him during the day.
TheSofaKing 7
At least he did not have the *****.
worldclassrager 41
that's sad...it may work if you turn him on...
tmaq973 7
Lol that's not you in your profile pic.
154rct 7
...
rixietrixie 25
10 never implied that she meant for her profile picture to be of her..lots of people put pics of celebrities they like as their profile pic, don't be so quick to assume next time.