Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
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Top comments
camsterjoe 12
I'm glad you feel so strongly about protecting our ecosystem, but did you really have to gas the place?
courtz94 24
It happened and it is what it is. Just laugh it off. If he's truly hurting your feelings, just tell him. If he doesn't listen, then try to brush it off. If he sees it's not bothering you, eventually he'll stop.
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Comments (85)
smilevue 23
That stinks op.
Bano360 25
Love you #20.
MzZombicidal 36
This is definitely one of my favorite FML's to date. OP, you should joke about it, too! You already know if he'd done it, you'd be laughing just as much. :P
Murilirum 23
That was a shellow joke.
derjoachim 6
@ #45 I am a bad man. That terrible pun made me smile.
courtz94 24
It happened and it is what it is. Just laugh it off. If he's truly hurting your feelings, just tell him. If he doesn't listen, then try to brush it off. If he sees it's not bothering you, eventually he'll stop.
RpiesSPIES 27
Now that's just not true. The last bit, I mean.
ottokat 15
Take it from someone with younger siblings: ignoring them doesn't work. It's like they get off on it.
courtz94 24
It is in my experience. Eventually something else happened and people stopped picking on me for the embarrassing thing. That's the thing with life, something always happens to give you another focus.
lagrimae 9
lol, you & my husband have something in common.
MikeonFML 17
Your husband has rolled over while sleeping, said "We gotta save the turtles!" And then farted for 5 seconds? That is one solid coincidence
SMHsohard 22
My husband has been doing stuff like this for 30 years. I just consider it free entertainment in the middle of the night, and sometimes it's pretty damn funny.
juliaannw 11
Its war.
klovemachine 24
That is so cute =)
andrewturtle 16
Aww...it's so cute when she farts and then mumbles non-sensical things. It's beautiful :')
camsterjoe 12
I'm glad you feel so strongly about protecting our ecosystem, but did you really have to gas the place?
The_Thinker 18
You knew a storm was a-brewing. But it was too late. You knew you couldn't save the turtles. You let it rip.
RodzillaX 30
That intense turmoil. I felt it as well last night. Sadly I think it was from that burrito I ate.
TokiW117 10
I know that feel, OP.
HowieDoIt 21
Are you Splinter?? Be prepared to have your fiancè shell out many more jokes.
varlso 8
You seem like someone who is in touch with nature :)