Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, I received my package. I ordered a vibrator, I was so excited to use it, but when I was finally ready to use it, I found out that it broke during the delivery. FML
Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML
Today, at 26, I bought my first vibrator. I've never really masturbated before, because I've always been with a guy. I used it for the first time, and orgasmed in under 3 minutes. I guess this whole time the guys I've been with hadn’t in fact made me cum as much as I thought. FML
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I finally broke and ordered a male sex toy, as though masturbating due to chronic singledom wasn’t sad enough, now I need a fleshlight to try and make the masturbating interesting enough to even bother anymore. FML
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
Today, it started off as a good day, until my guy friend called me in the middle of me turning my vibrator on. He was crying so I couldn’t finish. FML
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Top comments
Batkid217 14
looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.
aylind 18
Well...there's always your fingers.
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Comments (120)
Batkid217 14
looks like you'll be needing some ocdick.
flufee2 27
perfect dp for that comment ahah
venomousflower 24
Perfect pic haha
Crescent_Moon 17
Damn son, thats punny. Anyway, hopefully you can get another one and this time know not to do that, unless your OCD makes you, the. You'll have an idea of how to try to prevent it from ruining your new toy again.
maximus_prime 24
OP only did what she was supposed to, she fkd the vibrator.
sevazilla 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OCDICK
Lorenzo1102 21
I noticed you tried to copy #1's comment and take credit. Have a down vote
xoteeshaox 22
23 though if you look at how close they were posted, it is quite likely the comment was yet to appear for 2
Lostboy717 11
23 reminds me of clippit from Microsoft word back in the day.
bethrh 49
Looks like you'll need to buy a new one
shemademedoit 20
that piece of shit
aylind 18
Well...there's always your fingers.
bethrh 49
Last time I checked fingers don't vibrate
boostedc 24
And they won't run out of battery.
aylind 18
#5 Obviously, but until she gets the new vibrator it's not like she has no options when it comes to masturbating.
sarcasmwins 24
But they will suffice until she gets a new vibrator
annarcheer 19
You can still get pleasure from your fingers. You don't need a vibrator its just for fun.
Mauskau 36
No other options? You can use a lot of different things, depending on how you do it. Be resourceful.
ZombieVampirez 24
Glass ones are better. Pricey though.
LittleBastard 20
Glass fingers? Awesome.
muarif 19
#5 Have you switched them off then on though?
rockwrench 18
I like the way you girls think. Keep up the good work.
Jackimo98 24
Depends if she can fit 7 fingers though
Carebeareatu 23
Guess it's time for a date?
WipeHour 11
Mayhaps lack of a date necessitated the employment of a vibrator?
jenninator93 18
Do people not realize relationship status has absolutely nothing to do with masturbation? Shit, I bought my first vibrator while in a committed relationship. Not because of a lack of enjoyable sex. I just wanted "me" time to be more pleasurable.
Carebeareatu 23
Yes, I do realize it. I've had vibrators while in relationships as well. It's just less likely that a person would break than a vibrator and there's no need to take it so seriously...
pandalover69 26
She has OCD, that's why she ended up breaking it, having OCD doesn't mean you don't have a sex life. She didn't break it because she sexually frustrated.
obliviongillette 18
Invest in a really good one then, or one that doesn't vibrate. They're are Plenty of other great toys that will get the job done. (;
russfml 31
I think she's good on one that doesn't vibrate lol
chef4money 12
a non vibrating ***** would do nothing for me. Just the thought of that makes me sad.
Aimeejasmine 15
Maybe next time hold a stress ball in the other hand to satisfy your OCD :)
e_is_for_eli 12
lol do you even know what OCD is
sugoi72 27
that is not how ocd works sorry I would know
cari_cat 19
Obsessive Squeeze Disorder?
MRSwick2525 23
OCD has nothing to do with stress. It all has to do with the Brain Sweetie.
Darkness_Hate 29
Buy Duracell
AkashaSC2 11
Sorry for you OP. if you feel like buying a new one, PM me, bought toys with a 60%discount on a french web site yesterday to play with my girlfriend ^^ (good quality ofc) And don't mind people trolling you. OCDs should not be mocked but some wannabes humans are so empty they have to mock real human beings to imagine they belong to us...
TeasinDaNoobs 16
This guy is smooth af
pleasedie 22
..... Return it and say it never worked
niallo 23
I don't think that they accept returns for those kind of items.
pleasedie 22
Really ? Haha I feel dumb now
VeganDarkLight 31
Actually, expensive toys often come with a guarantee. If that's the case here, they have to take it back even if it has already been used (although I once had to send a customer home to clean the anal vibrator they wanted to have a refund for as I couldn't even dare to touch it with gloves...)
pleasedie 22
Wtf ? Why would someone bring something like that back to the store
russfml 31
I think they would if it's defective which it sounds like is the case. If it's broken hygiene concerns don't usually kick in
niallo 23
I stand corrected. A bit grossed out, but corrected.
chef4money 12
pure romance will replace any product that is defective or stops working. Most of their stuff doesn't last long anyway so the return policy is very handy.