Today, I began to daydream about going on a diet and losing some weight. As I did so, I unknowingly reached for a giant bag of chips and ate the whole thing. Now, I have stopped daydreaming and am sitting alone and depressed. And I'm all out of chips. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a dream in which I was eating vast quantities of pizza, cookies, and pastries. I became so anxious about all the calories that I woke up. Even in my dreams I'm self conscious about my diet. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my diet coach. I was telling her how I lost 3 pounds this week. I was saying this while eating a bag of chips, a beer in my hand and cooking a 3-meat pizza. FML
Today, I stopped at a mini-mart and bought a family-size bag of potato chips, a tub of dip, a box of toaster pastries, and some snack cakes. The guy at the counter said, "Wow, someone's hungry!" I told him it wasn't all for me, paid, and left in a huff. It was all for me. I ate it all by that evening. FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
Today, I sat down on my couch with a nice cool beer after a tough day at work. I tried opening a bag of chips. The bag exploded, covering me in chips and crumbs, turning me into a sticky human nacho. Well, my dog certainly saw me as a snack, and I had to shower and change clothes. So much for relaxing. FML
Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML
Today, I'm so out of shape that my arm ached after lifting chips out of a Lays bag. FML
Today, I realized that my diet has gone completely bust. If I try to limit the amount of food that I eat, my stomach is growling and keeping me up at night, when my sugar isn't crashing and turning me into a food vacuum cleaner eating everything in sight. I'm not starving myself, I'm trying to control my portions. FML
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Top comments
music_woman1 11
Join a gym? Or possibly a bootcamp, because you need the willpower and perseverance
somewizdom 15
You should daydream more often, but with a salad next to you.
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Comments (62)
lize96 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
HAAHHAHAHAHHA. you must have no self control.
lemonademixer 7
you probably have no self control laughing your ass off about people who have eating problems.
titzenpitzer 9
my god why do I find people who nag about their weight all the time so annoying.....
PrincessPesa 20
...I can't help but feel similarly. Some people sound like they're stuck in a Cathy comic. Aaack, indeed.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Cause you're an ass. Y'know, weight can be a real struggle for some people. If you haven't had problems with it, consider yourself blessed, and don't be so intolerant.
Dorothy Horsman 8
or maybe you have self control and not call someone a ass for admitting they dont like complaining about weight gain the other causes on their own and do nothing about it...
mbusey 20
I agree with 2. If it's constant, it's VERY annoying. If it's occasional, I can deal with it. But I hate when people go on and on and on about it.
PrincessPesa 20
It's not about intolerance. If you had a friend who constantly complained to you about their problems with alcohol, yet made no real effort to get help, what would you do? You would support them- until your support becomes enabling. I understand that weight loss is a struggle for many, many people. We all have personal struggles. But at a certain point, when a person neglects the fact that their words and actions strongly affect the people around them and still makes no effort to help themselves, it's time to stop the coddling. That doesn't automatically mean you're judgmental.
titzenpitzer 9
I'm especially looking at people like OP who clearly can't deal with their erm, "problem" properly. I do think about my weight and that means that, for example, I don't eat potate chips, ever.
blackstar994 5
I'm with 2. This guy needs to either hit the gym or stop complaining. Sounds rude, but its possible to drop weight and bad eating habits. You just need self control. If you don't have it then don't complain.
nictransitglory 4
Way to start the ball rolling with the pity party comments users are so so fond of in FML 8. OP is upset about his weight so instead of doing something about it he daydreams about losing weight all the while contributing to his problem. Had it been "I've been working out for several months and have been on a strict diet and am still alone and depressed", then yeah it's sad and I hope things get better. But this is NOT the case.
Discombobulated9 12
#8 If I sat here and wrote comment about me daydreaming of quitting smoking whilst unknowingly smoking a cigarette, would you feel sympathy for me? Chances are you wouldn't (not that I would blame you), but I can't see how losing weight is any different. If people don't attempt to help themselves and continue to complain about their bad habits, why should we feel any sympathy?
jayfreeman80 0
Maybe because the ARE damn annoying. Go on a diet and shut the **** up already lol
kidepicfest 0
Exactly. The only way I would feel bad is if they made an honest effort to lose weight and failed.
peaceout7247 1
Ur annoying
cheetahbaby96 8
60- Exactly! I tried for YEARS to lose weight and failed, but recently I decided whatever I was doing was not enough. So, I eat about 900-1000 calories a day (I know 1200 is recommended, don't tell me I'm eating too little) and do 40 minutes of cardio 6 days a week. So far I've lost 28 pounds from the beginning of June. :) To all struggling with weight loss- I know it sounds harsh, but just do it!:)
luvin_purple 11
For a lot of people weight loss is about getting healthier, not thinner.
music_woman1 11
Join a gym? Or possibly a bootcamp, because you need the willpower and perseverance
kakarot2 11
Insert the game portal reference about being adopted and fat here ___________________
insertnameherr 11
that's why my mom doesn't allow good things in the house :(
cyanidesandwich 21
Damn i suffer from the same problem, and 36, you're lucky, my mom only keeps all the unhealthy stuff in the house. And she wonders why im overweight
st333ph 12
Your picture goes along with your comment so much hahahahah
vocaloidtiger 12
Being able to eat chips but also depressed about your weight, or losing weight and not being able to eat chips... Hard choice.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Doesn't matter; had snack
CptZoe 10
I feel your pain OP! Just comfort eat and sleep, that way you have no time to feel guilty!
peachesncreem 21
And gain weight faster. Great idea *rolls eyes*
HairyPunisher 27
13, the 5th comment was clearly sarcastic. I know sarcasm is hard to pick up on with texts but how could you honestly think 5 was serious?
luckyd880 12
Maybe run to the store from now on to pick up your snacks :)
blackstar994 5
Just don't get a lot of snacks...
the_anti_hipster 7
Or choose snacks high in protein, low in calories and fat. It's not that hard. If you know you have a problem with willpower, choosing a bag of chips and cookies probably isn't the best way to go.
luckyd880 12
Or just buy heavy items :)
Jiinxx 8
consider that a final farewell to your chips and hit the treadmill.
eggmarie 25
I still can't wrap my head around how OP managed to eat a whole bag of chips without knowing...
lonkite101 14
Maybe it's a sign. Look out OP! :D
lemonademixer 7
Sign for what, 10
somewizdom 15
You should daydream more often, but with a salad next to you.
PrincessPesa 20
Time to substitute meditating for daydreaming (with fatty snacks in reach) for a little while perhaps? If nothing else, you may become more present- no more of that "unknowing" nonsense. And remember, air has zero calories!