Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
music_woman1 11
I can't help thinking that if he's this comfortable with you then you've got something special
viper64 10
Well, looks like you have to fart back, OP. Maybe that's his idea of a turn on?
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Comments (84)
viper64 10
Well, looks like you have to fart back, OP. Maybe that's his idea of a turn on?
marmlr339 14
How is that a turn on? If someone did that to me, I'd wake them up and kick them out of the bed
heimdallr 14
#28: People have different kinks... Like the guy that came in his pants after being picked up by a female bodybuilder.
music_woman1 11
I can't help thinking that if he's this comfortable with you then you've got something special
oneFUCKINword 8
Or maybe his just a pig that does care where or who he farts near?
deBlobX 12
*Doesn't
easyprey 8
Farting doesn't mean someone's a pig, it's a natural thing that happens all the time. Women fart too does that make them pigs?
Bullpine 11
Farting is natural, but it's polite to do it where you know it won't bother anyone; such as in the bathroom.
lazyfoo92 4
yes..
jweezy89 4
He farted in his sleep. Kind of hard to control that. I don't know anyone who sleeps with clenched butt cheeks. Unless you're in prison...
top_dawg45 10
try not being so clingy, bossy, or bitchy. guys r turned off about that kinda shit im sure u r all of thos things. hear me?
vocaloidtiger 12
Well, so much for intimacy.
top_dawg45 10
i said try not being clingy, bossy or bitchy guys r usually turned off by that kinda shit.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Oh my... How romantic! He sure knows how to melt a girls heart doesn't he?
laden_swallow09 35
… and her eyebrows… and her nostril hairs…
luckyd880 12
Time to research ways to spice up the bedroom OP!
luckyd880 12
Not that spicy noor. Maybe start out with some bell peppers and work your way up. If you can't handle the heat, stay outta the bedroom.
winnerme123 8
No, it is eat a ghost pepper then fart! ( if you can handle the heat )
flutter4 7
The ghost pepper will burn your ass hole off in the process of getting even but it sounds deadly lol
Ray_of_midnight 23
I suggest eggs and/or cabbage.
Zomg_Okay 27
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CptZoe 10
Oh, what a beautiful moment.
Jiinxx 8
welp... nothing wrong with a little self-loving, if you know what I mean.