Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
music_woman1 11
I can't help thinking that if he's this comfortable with you then you've got something special
viper64 10
Well, looks like you have to fart back, OP. Maybe that's his idea of a turn on?
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Comments (84)
momolee 4
Light a candle
TriflingAllDay 6
Nothing more intimate than knowing your partners bowel gasses well.
aFreedom127 9
Could be his way of asking for some anal.
flutter4 7
Your profile pic and the comment made me laugh so hard
hateevryone 15
Get help or leave him.
TomPusslicker 21
...and in one swift blow, the romance is back. Try talking to him about it when you arent in bed and/or tired. good luck op.
rattusrattus 19
Rancid butt gas. Oh, I am swooning. How delightful.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Embrace the ass! Love the ass!
greenie213 23
I know I do.
gottageek 17
He may not have the same drive for intimacy as you do. While it might sound shallow, maybe you need a different boyfriend if it's an important aspect of a relationship to you. It will get to where you're always depressed for compromising or he feels stressed with meeting your expectations.
perdix 31
Are you sure he was asleep when he farted? If this is an ongoing problem, you have to leave. There's no way to fix someone who doesn't give you the intimacy you desire. The alternative is accepting him as the cold fish he is, and getting satisfaction from fantasy **** like Fifty Shades of Grey.
noisebox 1
Wow find someone new whose not ***!