Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
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Top comments
music_woman1 11
I can't help thinking that if he's this comfortable with you then you've got something special
viper64 10
Well, looks like you have to fart back, OP. Maybe that's his idea of a turn on?
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Comments (84)
lonkite101 14
Wow, that's weird. Usually the boy wants intimacy in a relationship. But, FYL OP
22cute 17
Actually, all people are individuals about the frequency of sex. Something that should definitely be discussed before marriage or living together. The sex can be good but if you want it 5x per week & your partner thinks once every 2 weeks is fine then you're in for problems.
lonkite101 14
47- I know, it's I'm just saying.
pattyshivlee 5
Intimacy isn't just about sex. Maybe they have sex all the time and it's great but all she wants to do is cuddle and hold hands, ya know?
aFreedom127 9
He was sharing his ultimate gift...how more intimate can you get?
matthew3 2
Maybe he was trying to blow you away?
siickman 7
But she wants to blow him away...
ScarletBloom 14
His way of embracing you was cool.
rivaraven 35
Wow.. but that is intimate, can't really blame him.
firefighterjohn 9
maybe not wait til night time to talk about stuff or do stuff like that at night
oneFUCKINword 8
Sounds like you've got yourself a real keeper there, OP...
lonkite101 14
21- actually that's ten "******" words
cyanidexgrimm 0
Was it cold? Maybe he was trying to warm you up :-)
thecovert 7
He was administering laughing gas. Did you not approve????
fordneagles 34
Get him to read Fifty Shades of Grey? Apparently that's about sex and relationships, maybe it could help yours? :P Seriously though, I've been in a similar position in a relationship, and it sucks. See if you can have a serious conversation with him, if not, leave him.
weallfml 3
Fifty Shades of Grey is mom ****...