Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so lonely, I tried to get into bed noiselessly while pretending I had a boyfriend asleep in it. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML
Today, I was trying to be extra productive and washed all my clothes at once, including my bedding. I hung everything to dry and only realized too late that I had no dry sheets to sleep in. I ended up sleeping on a bare mattress, wrapped in a bath towel, like some kind of sad burrito. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
Today, in protest at my girlfriend stealing the blankets every night, I actually bought myself a separate duvet. She stole that one too in her sleep, wrapped it round herself, and turned over so many times it disappeared under her somewhere. I went and slept on the sofa in my dressing gown. FML
Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML
Today, I slept on the couch last night. Not because of an angry significant other, but because my bedroom was absolutely freezing, thanks to the wind. It was like a giant freezer. Even fully cocooning myself in blankets with a sweater on didn't work. I should get a space heater. FML
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
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Top comments
protoskore 27
welcome to the wonderful world of body pillows. for the extra desperate, there are pillows shaped like actual bodies
Marjo86 29
I'm sorry you feel so lonely. Hang in there!
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Comments (2)
protoskore 27
welcome to the wonderful world of body pillows. for the extra desperate, there are pillows shaped like actual bodies
Marjo86 29
I'm sorry you feel so lonely. Hang in there!