Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
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Top comments
StickyPickles 33
Now that's love.
Cassandra2015 21
your a dedicated spooner .
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Comments (115)
ligerzero459 24
That's unbearably cute, OP. Hilarious and cute
SystemofaBlink41 27
Uncontrollable flatulence? Dump her!
Kitty_Kat44 31
That would be a silly reason to dump someone.
SystemofaBlink41 27
That's the point, it's a joke.
Kitty_Kat44 31
I was hoping so. But you never know on here.
Bindairdundat 2
lololol.... DUMP... ajkekekekekeke
150493x 29
My Fiancé farts on me when he isn't asleep. I guess it's love.
lulinator 40
You're a good man, Charlie Brown.
CODplayer4lyfe 24
How romantic
ranger2867 16
Hey, if she's comfortable falling asleep in your arms you are doing a good job
dragoongirl90 34
Wah, like women haven't been letting their men do this to them since the dawn of time.
otecasacid 22
Gross man. Girls don't fart.
Calacor 17
Stupid -.- its not like they cant have gases
otecasacid 22
Your dumb ass seemed to think I was moderately serious.
otecasacid 22
Oh my god you're also one of those weird furry people. Ew.
dragoongirl90 34
If you were being sarcastic, then that's funny and mocking the OP and deserves an upvote.
Musicforlife29 12
Fifteen minutes of farts? New high score
gabriel57 4
i think it may be nice of her, she probably fell asleep holding them and lost control when fell asleep