Anonymous
Palmdale, United States
Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
shartface12
San Jose, United States
Hair of the dog
Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML
tryandtryagain
United Kingdom
Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML
Anonymous
Philippines
Nice try
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Anonymous
Today, the water was shut off, so I had to wash down my anti convulsants, anti depressants and sleep aids with an old, flat, non-alcoholic beer from the night before. I don't think I've ever had a more mentally dysfunctional cocktail. FML
Anonymous
Lightweight
Today, I have a hangover. From one small glass of pink Cava. FML
gingerbread
Yerevan, Armenia
Geyser
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Anonymous
United States
Wine about it
Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
scheisse
Herne, Germany
Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of my friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. FML
Thefaller
Today, I went to my first university party already a little drunk. I perched on the end of a table to cool off from the dancing and the whole table tipped over and dumped me onto the floor. I was promptly laughed out of the room. FML
rookiemistake
San Francisco, United States
The mouthfeel
Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML
Top comments
beddington 7
Time for AA.
perdix 31
Did you belt out a big "Woo-hoo!" afterwards?
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Comments (129)
beddington 7
Time for AA.
lopsop 12
This is literally the only good comment on this FML.
calilovesneb 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Dead.
Bano360 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Assuming OP is a young adult, everyone seems to be so judgemental.
K410 18
"Woah is that really the blood of Christ? Man that guy must be wasted 24 hours a day eh?" - Peter Griffin
mulumequitem 6
Not so anonymous now...
FlyingPie 17
#25: As opposed to figuratively the only good comment?
mrjiggles1992 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
See religion is bad for you.
Queensland 27
Oh no. Please don't awaken the religious shitstorm. Please, spare us.
sonicgreg 12
Sea religion is bad for you
jococo7787 3
See partying is bad for you
LeFrogDog 27
don't release the religious kraken
agressivedildo 11
What is dead may never die.
Soloman212 28
Fresh water heretics...
MidnaLink 35
And how well did that turn out for you?
andrewturtle 16
Turned out great! I mean, why else would OP post it on FML?
lonewolf621 17
Cool story. Not much of a FML here.
MissFits_fml 6
Did you have a chaser to go with that after?
stevothedevo 25
Maybe chaser'd out the church after that..
helen_ellexo 22
Who needs a chaser for wine?
\ 28
Um... cheese?
lil_ham1644 29
#4, I like the tattoo
thatnucca 36
Proving my point that folks I see in the club on Saturday night are the same folks I might meet at church the next morning... Clothes better ironed and a different brand of make up...
skyeyez9 25
Who says christians aren't allowed to enjoy a party? Jesus turned hundreds of gallons of Water into Wine at a party he attended.
ColdplaySucks 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Except he (unlikely many FMLs I've seen) never got drunk.
Ciraxas 7
76-where does it say Jesus never got drunk?
ColdplaySucks 18
The bible says getting drunk is a sin (before you start bashing me, I'm going from the text) and it says Jesus himself was sinless. Putting two and two together, it's implied Jesus never got drunk.
starile 20
Apparently he was great at getting other people drunk, though!
datgamerchick 14
It does not say Jesus was sinless anywhere in the scripture. Maybe the Old Testament, but the New Testament, which the majority of Christians and Catholics go by nowadays, makes it clear that Jesus was human, and therefore, flawed. The New Testament contradicts many of the Old Testament's statements.
angeluv_2014 22
101- It does say he was sinless. Multiple times. He had to be sinless in order to die for our sins. That's the whole point if him being Jesus, the son of God. And, Jesus is not in the Old Testement. That's the seperation between the two. Old Testement= pre-Jesus. New Testement= Post-Jesus. Please sir... spend a little time in study. The fact that Jesus was sinless is kind of important to the whole belief system of being a Christian. Remember: Jesus= perfect. Perfect love. :)
10showgirl 16
But he took everyone's sin right before he died and descended into hell and rose on the 3rd day.... So he wasn't without sin. And wasn't his mother, Mary, the only one born without original sin? Hence, the immaculate conception....
jennawill10 10
And what is wrong with that? You can't be yourself and have a few drinks but still go to church?
8313girl 28
I'm a preachers kid and I say yeah you can. The sin is doing anything in excess. There's nothing wrong with having a few drinks as long as you stay in control. Party on people! PS: I think OP maybe outta control lol.
Queensland 27
God's not judging you for that. He's probably partying it up with you.
LeFrogDog 27
Amen?
Queensland 27
What? You people think Morgan Freeman can't party?
SolarFlare 20
OP drank god his son's symbolic blood like it was Russian brandy... party?
persianninja 23
#36 Morgan freeman partying would be awesome
ohcheriecherie 20
37- god killed his son hopefully he's not mad about people getting crunk on his blood
harshallmeim69 9
the 90s were 20 years ago I think its time you stop saying "get crunk"
Tyrax 16
This *is* the same god whose son turned water to booze, so I'm pretty sure you're right.
perdix 31
Did you belt out a big "Woo-hoo!" afterwards?
iJUSTINsane 12
"The blood of Christ.." *SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS..* *Priest looks down at the cup* "Should i even wipe this??"
isallwaysme 27
waiting for the bible pushers to comment something stupid.
isallwaysme 27
oh well, you can't make a good comment every time
Mossears133 15
If you don't have something good to comment, don't comment at all.
HowieDoIt 21
You must be fun at part...oh. never mind
BadApple88 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lol I did that before also dont feel bad op
caohm 18
you both should feel bad