Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML
Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
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Top comments
StickyPickles 33
Now that's love.
Cassandra2015 21
your a dedicated spooner .
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Comments (115)
a1_z9 10
Ahaha, maybe she was just trying to make you cosy with her warming fart gasses.
Cassandra2015 21
your a dedicated spooner .
Dick_diamond 22
* you're
fie26 9
#26 if I could like this more than once I would
dakatabg 31
Get in used to, thats just the beginning
cari_cat 19
Yeah, later on they just pee on you. Wait, what?!
kavyashahs 16
Whtta Valentine gift buddy
King_ibloK 12
At least she was shooting blanks.
denden_mushi 11
Farting on your gf/bf/wife/husband when you're sleeping is the ultimate form of love. And the fact that you stayed and endured it means you love them too. It's kind of beautiful when you think about it.
hippodankamus 22
Relationship goals.
Benmantha 31
Must have been a lovely feeling. Making you feel all warm & fuzzy.
Kitty_Kat44 31
After the first one I would have probably woken them up from laughing.
Tannasgh 22
Gnaw off your arm, then light a match