Today, while taking my boyfriend's virginity, he started moaning, "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!" He then started crying and praying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML
Today, while losing my virginity to my boyfriend, I had my first orgasm. I don't remember much of what I said during, but after it was all over, he looks at me and says, "You have terrible grammar during climax." FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
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Top comments
ridemyrocket 9
Awe the poor kid lost his purity and now thinks he is going to hell.
emilie_gambii 9
Poor guy :( maybe he wasn't ready. Premarital sex can be pretty devastating to some people if they weren't fully prepared for it. I'm sorry it was a bad experience, OP.
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Comments (161)
camillewhite1 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's so funny! XD
jsp16 24
Yea because he was thinking of god almighty while givin'-er. Don't judge me because I used a lower case "g" in god's name.
AssTard 15
#46: |Don't judge me because I used a lower case "g" in gods name. 2edgy4me
asherm 15
Did he jump in shower after to wash off the "sin" of having sex? He's going to confession on Sunday- how many "hail marys" for that? I can see some poor shmo of a virgin thanking god for getting some, but actually he should be thanking you, and of course treating you amazing.
wowthatissad 9
Lel so le funny XD 3edgy5me #sofunny XD I'm the first comment everybody look at me Stop
Myo_fml 20
You're letting Marilyn Manson be your authority on well... Anything?
TheCanucklehead 22
#46 woah...thug life man. What are you gonna do next? Brush your teeth, but not floss :O
MzMayhem 5
Actually, it's "I'm not a slave to a god, that doesn't exist"
lonewolf621 17
Now now children dont get religion involved as it might be offensive to some.
ABByLeeVashe 17
#46, I will judge your comment because it’s grammatically incorrect. You capitalize the “G” in “God” because it’s a proper noun, there is no correlation with your believes. It’s like how you would capitalize “Zeus” or “Allah” (Yay, second grade English lesson!). Second, being abstinent myself, I find some of the comments to be appalling. A man or women should have the right to choose to wait without being judged, just like how others should have the right to have sex before marriage without being judged. I would rather be a 40-year-old virgin than a *****. Don’t Judge me because I’m abstinent. OP, I’m not scolding you, but don’t you think you should know someone’s sexual preferences before you sleep with them?
Nyx_fml 23
Oh, Abby, you're hilarious! The way you say that people should have the right to have sex before marriage without being judged and then you say that you would rather be a 40-year-old virgin than a ***** is just priceless. Anyone reading that would actually think you are close-minded enough to think those are the only two possibilities. Well done!
ridemyrocket 9
Awe the poor kid lost his purity and now thinks he is going to hell.
FMLbutYDI 17
Lol
alexwow1 13
This is the best comment I've seen
fuckyourlifeOP 25
Doesnt matter, had sex
AllyBrianne 10
Poor christian baby
yoshithecat 15
@27: It seems not many people are familiar with this song, or don't care for it. Folks, this was meant to be funny! :)
morella_xx 29
Or we're sick of it being quoted on every FML related to sex.
Mobyman30 9
He was crying because he busted too early and he was praying for his dick to stay hard...
RedPillSucks 33
@57 you do know that it's not just Christians that believe in God, right? Don't knock people just because they believe in God and you might not. He's going through at least a double or triple dilemma. Sex before marriage, possible sodemy and homosexuality. Have some compassion.
RedPillSucks 33
So, ridemyrocket, looking at your user name, I'm wondering. Are you OP?
j_cat187 20
Poor kid's gonna get butfucked by Satin.
ridemyrocket 9
Im not OP
Schizomaniac 24
I prefer to get buttfucked by velvet, but to each his own.
FitFriday 32
Or maybe he was worshipping her
NakedPixels 15
Probably was playing "Age of Aquarius" in his head too.
little_one 20
Hahaha 40 year old virgin! such a weird ending!
emilie_gambii 9
Poor guy :( maybe he wasn't ready. Premarital sex can be pretty devastating to some people if they weren't fully prepared for it. I'm sorry it was a bad experience, OP.
iAlissa 34
She never said it was a bad experience.
UnoriGal 17
Am I wrong in thinking OP is a man (based on his/her username)? And if so, this would not be just about premarital sex, but more of a matter of the boyfriend accepting his sexuality. And if I'm correct, then OP and his/her boyfriend need to do some talking. But again, I could be wrong. It just sounds like OP is calling himself(?) "JustSomeGuy" so...
iAlissa 34
Good point 26, and by the time I noticed that, I meant to change it to "Op" instead of "she" but it was too late to edit the comment.
LittlestPrincess 21
the icon next to his name should give you a clue directing to the correct answer.
UnoriGal 17
HAHA wow I can't believe I missed that. When other people make that mistake, I usually wonder why they do it. I guess it was because I jumped down to the comments, everyone was calling OP a she, and so I was distracted by the username? Anyways, at least now my doubts have been cleared, thanks for pointing out the blatantly obvious detail I missed (:
iAlissa 34
That icon wasnt there when I first commented. My apologies.
truesarrif 33
maybe the poor guy just had a foot cramp the whole time. those things can be a bitch
exo_went_insane 12
I like the way you think xD
spazz666 18
Why does it have to be premarital sex? Sex in general can be devastating if you're not mentally prepared for it, married or not.
parkwaydrive7 9
@11 are you retarded?...
Diegoba12 16
#130: the aren't saying anything about sex after marriage because OP says boyfriend not husband that is why it's premarital sex
solarrunner 16
So is OP gay or not, in any case it's pretty ****** up...
Mermhun 10
At least he seemed to have enjoyed it.
cuppycakeslove 20
I don't think he did if he ended up crying and praying...
Mermhun 10
Meaning he had seemed to enjoy it at first.
SlapAndTickle 20
#5 Aren't you a little young to be posting pictures of you in your underwear and putting them on the net?
TheDrifter 24
Sounds like they ran low on lube at the end though.
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe he felt guilty that he was enjoying it. Was he exclaiming "Oh God" out of pleasure and praying/crying in joy or was it one of those "How am I going to explain this to my Rabbi/Imam/Priest/Mother?"
iAlissa 34
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Doesn't matter, had sex.
netdemon 11
Why would anybody thumb down this comment!?
sugarbreeze 5
because its getting old....
Diegoba12 16
You're cute and all but it's really getting old plus they already put this in here...
Queensland 27
Damn, **** blocked by God. Don't worry OP you'll look back at this and laugh.
ottokat 15
Haha, oh boyfriend, do you remember when your first time having sex was awful and triggered a breakdown and left you feeling horribly guilty? Those were the days...
Crometer 23
Oh god! Oh god! The cake is a lie!
davincidasecond 24
At least he didn't start speaking in tongues ... Right?
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
Maybe he did. Maybe his tongue had a private conversation with her ******. :)
Zimmington 21
70- I don't think there's a "her" in this situation since OPs name is "JustSoneGuy"
abhi95 31
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You should have said.. Look at me you idiot... And they say a girls cry.... Shut up and **** me.
iAlissa 34
Who the hell says that during sex?
JACKxRAWR 22
#15, Denise from Scrubs definately would.
Wizzlbang 10
you know.... op is.... a... guy........ right............?
little_one 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That's not necessarily true. They didn't put their sex on the FML the FML only refers to the boyfriend and the username justsomeguy could be referring to their religious bf.
SimplyCyrax 17
Such an awesome reference!