Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
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Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
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Comments (316)
leonitus5326 0
She will find out...
tcbailey 0
seriously people if you can't read the post then proceed with caution to comments and figure it out!!!!!!!! if only it were legal to shoot idiots!!!!! one day......
soshy_fml 0
she got influenced by your girlfriend!
darkmis1 18
That's a double FML right there. FYL for sure.
daisy1vargas 0
oh wow that's a suckiesh way to find out about an afair. sorry to hear that.
StygianAgenda 0
Strippers freekin' rock
Jamkid 0
tell her theres no way in hell thats happening FYL
kaitlinQ 0
what the he'll is wrong with you that is not something to be proud of
patorick 0
omg that is hella funny how old is ur daughter
terran0 0
my freinds duaghter said that