Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML
Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML
Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bobert258 0
ouch
MermaidSongXOXO 6
Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (316)
mandilynn831 0
omg I would had died
sexxyajayy 0
nice kid u got there ehh? ;]
Samuraixman 3
Is your husband tiger woods
ryguy997 0
**** 'EM ALL!!!
aandfgirlie45 0
hahaha wow
holycheesecake 0
wow beat him
welly_ellie 0
holy shitt
missmontreal97 4
omg. sorry to hear that op. :(
tamoodielovesmar 1
that blows
buddddy 5
wat did you do wrong to deserve that