Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML
Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML
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Top comments
MrJentipede 2
At least your mouth wasn't open.
herby123 0
relay it to ur mom?
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Comments (91)
genius_man16 1
Lol, I'd go with #2 and relay it to your mom.
sushamouf 0
#13... do you realize that once the biker realized you were following him he would 1. confront your ass 2. lay on the gas and he would be gone.... Im sure there was a reason he spit and probabily a good one.........
cha40_fml 0
I agree with #31
Blue_Coconuts 7
I agree with #31 100%... I'm a rider as well... I probably would have kicked the shit out of your door if I felt my life was being threatened. Consider yourself lucky all you got was spit. I know guys who'll carry rocks in their pockets to **** up the windshield.
lmmmr 0
#31- That is exactly why motorcycles should be illegal.
thuryn 2
I agree with the "fake" part. As a biker, I can tell you that at upwards of 5mph, it's pretty impossible to spit on someone without getting it on yourself. Also, even a 3/4 helmet has a face shield that would have to be moved out of the way first. A full-face helmet takes a lot of work to remove, spit, and put back. On the other hand, if he wasn't WEARING a helmet, then he's an idiot and should gtfo the road and get himself a lid. Jerks like that give us safe riders a bad name. I don't know what set off the OP's mother. I ride with a crowd that is very careful in traffic and doesn't "act like we own the road." But there are plenty of flip-flop wearing, wheelie-pullin', stupid newbie riders (we call 'em "squids") with more money than sense out on shiny new liter bikes. If she was yelling at one of those fools, I can see why she'd be upset. By contrast, we have #15. **** you, dude. I hope you die in a fire.
nananna915 0
I sincerely hope you got their license place so you can sue their ass, that is DISGUSTING
Blue_Coconuts 7
I just assume that they were stopped. With my helmet on, if I'm moving, I usually can't hear anything people say anyway. If both were moving, it's unlikely he would have heard anything. But I can just lift the bottom of my helmet, and spit out that way, and put it back in about 2 seconds. So if they were stopped at a light or something, it's not unfathomable.
mandalaine05 0
That's ******* gross and also called assault. I probably would have called the cops.
AnneFTW 17
FYL not only for the spit but for having a mother with a filthy mouth. What the hell was she doing anyway?! Some motorcyclists are angry lunatics - you don't swear at them! Esepcially when they haven't even done anything!