Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML
Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MrJentipede 2
At least your mouth wasn't open.
herby123 0
relay it to ur mom?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
mu_tiger2006 0
Agree with #6... I call bull...no way spit can travel between two parallel vehicles while driving...
ZEROGage 0
Be happy- it could've been an outlaw biker who'd pull a gun and shoot you. You should've told your mom to chill out.
feeish 0
I agree with #6 unless you were in stop and go Bull
Warzprite 0
Its assault, have him charged and get another unsafe rider off the roads. If he was such a badass he should have stopped riding like a moron, and sucked it up like a man instead of trying to spread his herp around.
noName123456 0
people need to realize that if a biker and a car crash the people in the car will probably be fine wheras the person on the bike will probably be killed or seriously injured so give bikers some space and respect there right to be on the road
deathproof_fml 0
That sucks. Bikers always drive like morons, and then they wonder why they all ****** get killed. It's the biker's fault, 99% of the time.
24788 7
Your mom is ******* crazy.
randii3660 0
You got some major abs!!!!!!!! ^^)
PotatoBlankey39 2
Your mom OBVIOUSLY did something to piss him off. Bikers aren't idiots you know. I'm sorry his spit landed on you since your mother is the one that deserved it. Tell your mother to open up her damn eyes and pay attention to others that are on the road. She should learn to be more observant or she'll kill someone! I have several friends and family members that ride and there are a few that have lost their lives to idiots that don't pay attention. Tell your mom to start paying attention to bikers or she'll end up killing someone. At least this biker had the courage to do something... Again, sorry his spit landed on you. Your mother is the one that deserved it. Just take this as a lesson for when you drive.
mattmag 0
I'm not a motorcyclist, but a regular cyclist. Some idiot driver nearly killed me, then started yelling at me (apparently the bike lane is no place for bikes). I rammed my handlebar into his brand new SUV and put a huge dent in the door, then rode off down a path into the woods. When I get tired, I post random stories in the FML comments.
FarSide 23
Like you have not swapped spit with a dozen guys in your life. It's disgusting until your lips touch, eh??