Leave me out of this
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, I stopped at a light when someone crashed into my motorcycle, making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I'd stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I'd forgotten to lift the helmet visor. FML
Today, it was nice out, so I drove with my car windows down. I was stopped trying to turn onto a busy highway, when a car turned off the highway right next to me, hit a pothole, and splashed dirty water into my window and into my open mouth. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when I saw my cheating ex-wife walking down the road. Out of anger, I spat my gum at her. I forgot that my helmet's visor was still down, so when I spat, the gum stuck against it. I was temporarily blinded and I crashed into some bushes. FML
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified, me or him. FML
Today, I drove my mom home from the salon because she was feeling sick. I'm not the best driver, but I was excited that I was helping. Everything was going smoothly until I hit a bump in the road. My mom blew chunks all over. I found out very quickly that she had spicy chicken for lunch. FML
Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML
Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML
Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML
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Top comments
MrJentipede 2
At least your mouth wasn't open.
herby123 0
relay it to ur mom?
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Comments (91)
jza414 0
OP's mom needs to learn to share the road. Riding a bike is dangerous, and not all bikers are speed demons. If they want to be cautious IT'S THEIR RIGHT. Just because she's some stupid SUV driving bitch talking on her cell phone and the biker's keeping you from getting to your hair appointment in time doesn't mean she has the sole exclusive right to use the road. You may not have deserved getting spit on but your mom sure as hell did. Either pass on that biker's message or YDI.
peopleplz2008 0
#16 first learn what assault is. then come back and re-post please.
markssh 0
# 65, #71, #59, #all: Biker here (sport bike). Lots of things to respond to. As for the distinction between a cruiser rider and sport bike rider: in the end, we're all 2 wheeled riders. Most people on cruisers ride for the scenery, the slow, steady pace, and the socializing aspect. Most 2 sport bikers (crotch rocket is an ugly word) ride for the adrenaline, the risk. Some ride squidly style (squid = stupidly quick uninformed something something, or "Super Quick Until I Die"). We all ride for our own reasons. I ride to see how far I can lean my bike in a corner at what speed. I ride because it gives me a freedom nothing else ever has. As for the comments calling for motorcycles to be illegal: knee jerk reaction much? Some of these are obviously trolls. And as others stated: we don't know the whole story. But whenever you're playing chicken and you're the smaller one, it's always best to play it safe and not engage them. Both bikers and cage drivers can be stupid. Case in point: I was riding behind a fellow rider, and a couple of cruisers passed us motioning us to slow down. Usually this means there's a cop, but instead what we found, on an upcoming blind right turn, was a broken-down vehicle. The blind turn has an expected speed limit of 20 mph. If we had not slowed down, we would have hit the car. Our fault? Maybe not, but would it matter anyways? That blind corner has a steep drop-off (this is mountain roads we're talking about), so bye-bye bikers. To make matters worse, the driver of the vehicle was standing out in the middle of the road. The road itself has no sidebank -- just rockwall. Second case in point: just a few days ago, riding home from work, the car in front of me is driving oddly. She's driving slowly, doesn't get in the turn lane until the last minute, at which point she puts on her turn signal. She gets up to the light and still moving, it turns yellow. She stops instead of going. Ok, I think, maybe she's just being cautious. Light turns green, about 3-5 seconds, she's still sitting there. I honk the horn ('loud' as it may be), she finally moves. The problem? She has a phone glued to her ear. So I pass her, on a double yellow. One I didn't want to be involved in an accident because she decides paying attention to the person on the other end of the phone was more important that driving safely, but also she was going below the speed limit. It was like a tractor driving on the road (common where I live). As for the good riders and dead riders, it isn't so black and white; a lot of the time, the bad riders learn from their mistakes and get back in the saddle. Sometimes they call it quits. Anyone who makes a quick decision takes a risk when riding a motorcycle. The only way to decrease that risk -- it's impossible to eliminate -- is through experience and using your skills, pushing your limits. Lean that motorcycle over a bit more, keep on the throttle, smooth, accelerate a little in the turn, don't chock it. Don't brake hard in the turn, Keep your eye on the direction you want to go, and your body will make the bike do the rest. Btw, bikers, be those who ride cruisers, sport bikes, scooters, or bicycles, are riders, not drivers.
markssh 0
Few things I forgot: some might argue you should never brake in a turn, but trail braking does sometimes help, although the more you break, the more traction you lose with the road.
Sindri907 0
I am also a sport bike rider, and I used to have my squidly days and I know what 181mph feels like on the highway on the back of a rocket... But those days are long gone behind me. I still ride the rocket, but I take it easy on the street, obey the laws, and when I feel the need for speed, I go to a track. At the track there is no excuse, if I wreck and get hurt, its my fault. On the street, not so much. Actually, Ive had more near misses riding like a normal person than I did in my old asshole days. You just kinda blend in to the scenery to car drivers and they just dont pay attention. So please watch out for us out there, we still have a right to the road. And all of you that think motorcycles should be illegal need to get off your high horse. Its my life and my right to choose my transportation. In fact, my 1000cc rocket happens to be significantly more fuel efficient than a Prius, and since I travel by myself 90% of the time, Im doing the environment a favor too! Oh, and for all you that want to play the "cruiser" versus "rocket" game, grow up. I ride like a normal, sane person. My friend land speed races a turbo Hayabusa that is also street legal and he rides like an old lady drives. And yet my cousin decided one night to get hammered and do 100 on his HARLEY. And I wont even get into some stories I have about some very popular and easily recognized cruiser clubs I used to ride with and their antics. LIFE ISNT BLACK AND WHITE!!!
Asdas_fml 0
#6 The OP didn't say they were moving, and how do you know if the guy on the motorcycle aimed for the window or not? If they were moving he probably wanted to just spit on the car and it happened to go in from the open window.
CPTobvious_fml 0
I'm a R1 1000cc rider... and your mom is an asshole! ha.... I hope your mouth was open.
darkelf06 0
road rage. it's getting out of control. tsk tsk
rwremily 0
wow thats horrible. but dont worry, i thought that story was funny as all hell. :)
BTROCK 0
I get road rage easy. Mainly because of all the shit and I mean REALLY shit drivers. As someone else said, any idiot can get a license. #8: your a jackass. Bikers don't think they rule the road. Just because they can weave in and out of the traffic while your sat there like a lemon doesn't make them indecent...