Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
gir321 0
has no one noticed #30?!?!?!?!! dude his ******* girl commented this bitch, hahahaha.
xiloveyoux3 0
LMFAOOO! Your girlfriend is hilarious.
Melifaire 0
What if she did it because she didn't really want to give a bj? It's possible you know.
Emrysa 1
Eh, on the bright side, at least you know no one else's been in there before you. Teach that girl.
allylalala 0
LOL #5
Hum_fml 0
I didn't know what a ******** was till I was 16. One of my guy friends explained what it was. A few months later I did it for the first time but I still wasn't sure if I had to blow on it LOL now I've got a lot more experience. But I think it's cute that she doesn't know. I think she shouldve asked. Try talking to her and don't get too upset just cause she can't give you head.
snowbird_fml 0
after going through at least one month of high school the word ******** comes up and its a common term
x3chibi 0
Wow. And LOL to the guy that said "at least it's not a bite job." To the people who's the grammar cops, I only read this from a sidekick, and it's easy to make typos. There's a difference between typos and being illiterate with your dictions. Stop acting like you're einstein for being able to correct words. Congratulations? To OP: lololol. You're not whining. You're just on fmylife and just made a story that made my morning. :] your girl's awesome.
Sure_Thing 0
#72, you know that's not really his girl right? You know that on basically EVERY FML, someone thinks it's hilarious to try and reword the op into something mildly amusing that nobody ever laughs at because it's never funny and always fake? Yeah, you're way to gullible...
Bear_Sandwich 0
I learned what giving head meant on cokemusic when I was 11 XD