Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
lnm701 0
Hahahaha this made my afternoon. That's hilarious. But what is up with everyone assuming you need to be a **** to know how to give a *******? I didn't give one until I was 17, but I knew what it was by the time I was like...11 or 12. OP, how old are you guys?? If you're too young to understand what it is, you're too young to be doing it.
rawblerawble 0
it took me a whileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee to figure out what was wrong with the story. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA your girlfriend failed!
candiixo 0
i dont get it ..
choppedNskrewed 0
hahaah ... this is funny. it reminds me of that book "looking for alaska" this exact same thing happens, but the guy duznt know what a ******* is either, so he thinks that's what supposed 2 happen. ahahha . good book. sad though.
judgeymcjudge 0
Also, #56 = Damn right.
cyxx 0
115 has it right.
omgitspoy 6
ok i'm really suprised that more people didnt pick up on the YEAR AND A HALF! if you didn't get it in that long you fail epically and it's not a fyl cause you just suck.
FoundManyLemons 0
Well, if you're not a dick, explain the process to her. If you're considerate and kind, you two could have a lot of fun learning together. And since you sound like you might have had prior experience, get tested.
wowfmlife 0
#112 watching mtv or comedy cental for 10 minutes can teach you that a ******** involves a dick. If we knew how old hey were, it would be a lot easier to figure out whether she knew what it was or just didnt want to
hawtieeex3 0
#2 is epic. YLF. ;)