Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
hawaiianxpunchx3 0
#2 are you joking? i knew wat a ******** was wen i was like nine?
Kaizoku_fml 6
Judging by the way you spell, that was 2 days ago.
andy_fml_fml 0
OH I GET IT :) lmfao thats pretty funnyyy that's okay. give her some **** links and done :)
cue_tumbleweed 0
Epic, yet adorable, FAIL.
spuuuddd 0
Ohh wow. you pick them well.
TryToBeKind 0
Regardless of age, not everyone knows what that is. Family culture is HUGE (although, you're more likely to run into that at 15 than you are at 30) I just hope you gently explained to her what you liked/wanted done. If she were more of a licker than a sucker (or visa versa), I would see this as simialr - say waht you like/want. Expect/respect when she does the same when YOU are doing oral. if she declined, I hope you said, "OK" and din't pressure her. Obviously, I hope she doesn't pressure you to do what you don't want. Just as long as it is even (a girl should not go down on a guy who will not go down on her and visa versa).
countrygal926 0
When i was younger i didnt know what head meant, when everyone joked about someone getting head i just laughed along. I was like 10 though, my mother was not pleased when i asked her haha
m1cc1 0
Thats the funniest thing I've heard all day. Thank you for making me laugh like theres no tommarow. :]
MajorLeeScrewed 0
Fake.
robvicious_fml 0
******** is actually kind of a stupid name for it... it logically should be called mouth job or throat job or something.
beechy1996 0
BY THE WAY MY DATE IS WHEN I GRADUATED FROM UNIVERSITY AND I MISRED IT!!!!