Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
Stormy_fml 0
So she doesn't know what one is.... at least she's willing to do it, and, by asking you if it was good, wants to get it right. So just tell her. What's the big deal? Talk her through it, she'll learn. Communication is key.
Nakedsquirrel 5
An innocent girl is more fun to mess around with, plus you can be sure they're clean.
JVonDahl 9
People that are saying you need a new GF are freaking dumb. Seriously, relationships aren't about just sex. Obviously he must love her if he's been with her so long. At least she was willing to do it. And her not knowing how just shows that she's NOT a ****! How awful to have a gf whose willing to try new things with you, and ISN'T a ****.
thatsoundsnice 0
Or maybe she just didn't want to. :/
ChinyereCouture 0
YDI for having a stupid gf. How old are you? If you're 13, that's fine...but any older than 16, that's kind of sad. And #115, psychologically, sex plays a large part in relationships. Humans are wired to seek sexually compatible mates. Depending on his age, he might actually need either a new girlfriend or to gove her some "lessons". I'm 17, and that shit would NEVER fly with my (now ex-) boyfriend.
judgeymcjudge 0
I can see this as being genuine. I had a friend who thought a ******** was literally this, and didn't understand why guys liked the thought of it so much. Quit your bitching, boy! You asked for a sexual favour and your girl obliged without a second thought. If you aren't man enough to explain it to her (or if you are selfish enough that you asked for something without offering something in return, if you follow me) then you're not man enough to deserve a woman as giving as that! Or, alternatively, if you're not mature enough to explain it on a basic sex ed level, you shouldn't be getting jiggy with it in the first place. Plus, you know, she could have just thought it was gross and not wanted to partake in it :P Also... you never clarified... Did you 'enjoy' it? :P
gleidu77 0
#72 is an idiot.
zap_fml 0
A year and a half without a ********? That made me laugh by itself. Good on her!
omgitspoy 6
ok i'm really suprised that more people haven't picked up on the year and a half! i'm sorry but if you haven't got it in that long u fail epically.
Dragoslav 0
Well OP, you are the perfect position to teach an innocent girl how to do all the vile things you want. That in itself is fun, and in the long run it will still be better than dating a girl who is an expert because she has been with 300 guys.