Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (313)
anon12_fml 0
To everyone saying #13 is an idiot- I think he/she was making an attempt at humor via sarcasm... It didn't necessarilly work, but no one's dumb enough to think that would be true
iSocket 0
Took me a while to realise you meant she actually blew on it. :P
starvingxartist 0
okay, i'm pretty sure #2 was JOKING, so stop bashing them about being stupid and young. 1996 could mean anything, and even if it did mean they were born then and 13 years old, i definitely knew what a ******** was when i was 13 so that doesn't make them stupid. otherwise, that is pretty funny, but hey, then you can teach her to do it exactly how you like it.
Sage1314 4
#18 and #21 just got trolled...
shani__ 0
My friend got his girlfriend to "suck his dick" in which she proceeded to put it in her mouth and suck. Suck really hard. He said it was like she was trying to suck the cum out =/
summertimeblues 0
ahah i thought she was actually being snotty and sarcastic.. kinda like.. doing it literally to make you feel stupid for asking her lol..
chimmy 0
Is she young? Or was she being sarcastic? That's what you get if you ask for a ********. Especially if you have been "dating" in middle school or something.
Kat_MS 0
Oh come on. How hard is it to teach her? Everyone has to start somewhere ;).
Expirational 5
HEY atleast she tried. LMAO. But.. You should've told her what a ******** was.. before she did it lmao.. i woulda been like "STOPPPP BLOWING ON MY DICKK!" lmao
sprinkesrdelish 5
omg... that was hilarious.