Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
nomadxx7 0
In your girl's defense she sounds innocent and it is called a *******. If you weren't learned in the sexual arts I could see how that may be confusing. Should have asked her to suck you off since that's what actually happens. Plus be thankful that she's innocent. You can help mold her into a dirty girl.
Buggie19 0
I think you're ridiculous for thinking this is an FML. So you girlfriend isnt a ****? Stop being so selfish as to think that every girl is born knowing how to give a BJ. If you actually loved your girl, you teach her instead of whining about it on the internet. Go get yourself a blow up doll you ass.
14hatemachine 2
That's actually kind of cute on some level haha : ] My best wishes with the explanation and subsequently the lesson you're going to have to give her D:
Maybefull 0
How old are you guys? Anyways, awww.
wowfmlife 0
i didnt know what it was until like 8th grade
Alex_DeLarge 0
@26: zing! Number 5 is win.
Jaxro 6
Hahaha. Teach her how it's done then :P
acc093 0
Hmm, well I don't get why you're whining about it so much or why you're so shocked she didnt know what a ******* was. chicks dont have testosterone and dont constantly think about sex 24/7 and have their whole world revolve around getting laid. jeez you should be happy you even had someone willing to do it, especially considering that you're probably like 13. Shut up and get over it. hahah and amen to #83
Rodjmeister 0
how...um, old are you?
Zenerach 0
I agree with #7 cut her some slack, she's never done it before