Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Glad to help out
Today, while at work, I was asked if I wanted to leave early. I said no and let my coworker go instead. Two hours later, I was punched in the face by one of my patients, with absolutely no warning or provocation. FML
Pranks for all ages
Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML
Sorry, man
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
Today, I went grocery shopping. As I was leaning in to pick up some produce, someone viciously slapped me on the butt. I whirled around and nobody was anywhere in sight. Now I'm starting to worry that I'm losing my mind. FML
The final boss of annoying customers
Today, while I was helping customers in the self-checkout, one lady wouldn’t stop talking to me. Other customers needed help and I was trying to go help them. When I tried to walk away, she hugged me over my arms, physically restraining me. I froze. I actually have PTSD from being sexually assaulted years ago. FML
Charming
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Pervy perv walks
Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML
Today, I fistbumped a cashier as they tried to hand me my change. FML
Top comments
AnyaS 19
Should've gone with your second reflex then.
Jakesterk96 8
Wow, I hope your elbow is alright.
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Comments (158)
gossipgirl3_fml 2
Sounds like time for u to stay there instead of working there...
The_Hitdude 12
Why? It was an honest mistake. There's no way you can say you wouldn't freak out if someone jumped you from behind.
stephan18 23
Stfu next time lol
SkoomaKi 28
2 - She should've at least turned around to see who was trying to "attack" her.
ankoku 2
Yes, Because elbowing someone can cause you to suddenly develop a mental handicap..
xoconnie 8
ohh snaap! thats really sad actually, I feel really bad for the poor patient :( at least it was an accident.. but i cant blame ya, u obviously didnt know
Cad6 24
#1 - I don't like your comment.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
#1 - yes, stay there! but don't work there, that would be weird.
blackheart24 10
15- Yeah that makes sense. So next time you're getting mugged are you gonna ask the robber to take off their ski mask so u can make sure it's not one of your friends? **** logic!
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
this FML makes me wanna cry. Especially since the patient was trying to give Op a hug. You monster!
LightningCactus 12
So, immediate self defense is grounds for labeling someone as mental handicap?
TexasJosh 0
By the things some people say on here, those are more grounds for a mental handy cap rather then a quick reflex is. Some of the people on here would fit in well.
kirstyannemiller 4
Cry? Jeez get a life.
kirstyannemiller 4
Cry? Jeez get a life.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
Yes, cry. My big brother has a disability jackass
nick315 8
You would have been safe even If it was a attacker you were at a public grocery store don't always assume the worst.
Llamacod 11
Yes, because no one ever vets attacked/ shot at a public place ie schools, parks, post offices etc... Nope, never. Being in public is always safe
nick315 8
Oh sorry. But I thought I was thinking since she was in the checkout line possibly by a cashier she wouldn't be in any danger. But no I did not hear of the little girl that is to bad. :(
Eiregal2 10
I shared the secret!!!
StoryOfTheYear 15
3- Safe? Ha, right. To be straight-up blunt, someone can be killed in a matter of seconds or less. I don't think that an entire grocery store full of trigger-happy armed conceal-and-carry Texans could save someone 100% of the time.
downtime 13
Is it because in the race to get the first comment that people just don't think and always say stupid shit in the first comments?
brytonk 8
3- an attacker.
nick315 8
I guess I was wrong to say that since I would being to instinctively swing around at the "attacker". But I wasnt racing I just assumed wrong. But it's asumming that is wrong never assume.
KiddNYC1O 22
41- Do cashiers have magic powers I don't know about?
nick315 8
48- Its a good thing that I can find you so easily...... I will be arriving in cork city, Ireland In about half an hour please keep your door unlocked.......It will make this all so much easier.
XxDevilxXGt 26
Hey didn't you know? All grocery store cashiers are trained in telekenesis and jiujitsu!
ankoku 2
Rate it however you want, but it's the idiotic fear of everything that moves in this country that causes this crap like gun violence in the first place. Canada has more guns per population points then anywhere on our continent but you rarely here about anyone there going on a killing spree because they don't need to carry them everywhere to fend off imaginary bad guys like we do here.
Llamacod 11
*hear
StoryOfTheYear 15
64- I'd normally say stop digging yourself a hole, but by now it'd be quicker for you to just keep digging to china.
SkoomaKi 28
Have a little self-control! That was a complete overreaction, no one is stupid enough to attack a shopper! Maybe the clerk though..
ninjadinos 14
Yes they are. He could have had a gun, in which case other people couldn't have done anything.
ankoku 2
You know people don't tend to just randomly attack people in stores, there is usually something called a motive involved. I think you guys are watching too much fox news..
The_Hitdude 12
SkoomaKi: I respect you as a regular commenter, but I seriously doubt you would use time to turn around and see who is potentially attacking you, when the same time could be used to defend yourself and save your life. It was a split second decision, and stopping to evaluate the situation isn't something that could happen in that amount of time. Again, it was an honest mistake.
THExistentialist 13
skoomi, there is in fact ONE person ... special... enough to attack a shopper, and that is OP's attacker. albeit a hug attack, it was an attack nonetheless.
ankoku 2
Fake.
frozenfreeze 5
Ankoku, I think you're underestimating some people. There are definitely people in this world that are crazy enough to attack someone in a grocery store in the middle of the day. If someone is insane enough to attack someone else in the first place, they probably aren't too concerned with the time of day anyway. You always have to be cautious, because you never know what other people are thinking/planning on doing.
melibear89 7
69- people are stabbed and shot in broad daylight more than you think. A few months ago a guy was stabbed at a market full of people and those people just walked around him like he wasn't there. More attacks happen during the daylight hours than at night as there are more people out then. When your suddenly being full on touched like OP was your not going to sit there and think " hmm is this person who's touching me like this a friend or a foe?" startled people don't think first they react first then think.
blaackandprouud 20
Well I'll give you an example. What if someone tapped you on your shoulder and you TURNED AROUND TO SEE THEM and you were mugged. Don't you think it makes more sense to be on the defense? Muggings happen more often than you think. So I don't think OP is crazy for reacting.
Ameel_fml 19
@ #69: You've obviously never lived in a bad neighborhood or worked in a place that deals with unstable people. I used to work in a pretty bad neighborhood as a career guide, and there were random attacks in that area all the time. Especially in my own workplace...not everybody who was forced into the job-search system was happy about being there. And many of them were recovering alcoholics or drug addicts who would do ANYTHING to get out of the system...even if that included being violent towards the career guides. These sorts of "minor attacks" don't all get reported on the news. Because they aren't considered "interesting" or "news worthy". But they do happen. Not everybody is stable or coherent enough to plan their attacks at night with few people around.
ContractedTyler 0
89- that's stereotypical and racist. Go away
ThatGuyRory 9
69 - "Some men just want to watch the world burn." Just something deeply insightful to add to this pleasant little argument. :)
Mommyof2_91 10
Well there are some crazy people who would attack people because they seen that they had money or just because they are that wack.. Also who knows if there's somebody she fears would attack her if they had an opportunity.. You never know.
AnyaS 19
Should've gone with your second reflex then.
skitzofunia88 8
It's those ninja reflexes that get you in trouble though
BABYPUNCHINGGUY 0
Yeah bet you feel like a dick
colliebuddz420 7
But ur name is babypunching
JesseAttack 21
The first one sucked, but the second could've been worse!
MonsterCommenter 4
Why was that your first reflex?? Do you work at a fight club or something and beat people up for a living?
Feklfekl2222 32
Are you an idiot? It was actually stated in the FML that the op works at a "disability house". Admittedly I'm not too sure about what a disability house is( is it a care home for the severely disabled?) but it does say where he works and that is not a "fight club or something"
The_Weirdo 10
A disability house is where mentally handicapped people live. And that would be my first reaction as well. It has nothing to do with where they work, different people react differently to suprise than others.
kwchambers92 10
A CQC trained Vietnam vet probably would have done worse than an elbow to the face!
ladyLALAA 29
I feel bad for OP, she would gave felt AWFUL! However, as a woman I think it is good she has quick reflexes if anything were to happen.
Wavesong 4
I had an internship at a mental institute, and there's mirrors on the corridor walls and you have to check behind your shoulder every few seconds to make sure none of the patients are trying to attack you from behind. So her reflex is quite justifiable.
ilovedinosawers 17
THANK YOU
Jakesterk96 8
Wow, I hope your elbow is alright.
Nevereverland 8
Other than the occasional "getting smashed against patient faces" , im doing great thanks , how about yourself ? Regards , Elbow.
lianneg 0
Ouch
molliepop19 5
Elbows hurt.
alwaysrunnin 3
This is heartbreaking); it's not like you knew any better, nor them. It was all a mistake, definitely fyl and theirs;/
stiansr 8
Well, you don't have to be afraid of him trying to hug you ever again