Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, after having waited three long months, my shy girlfriend finally gave me a blowjob. Everything was going really well until I said, "Wow, you're really talented. Anyone would think you've been practicing your whole life." FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML
Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML
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Top comments
_apecakez 0
LOL! is she like 10 years old, and doesn't know exactly what a ******* is? but that's sort of cute how she's innocent. n____n
Mattrocker 4
Got yourself a keeper I see
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Comments (313)
Hummingbird114 0
#127 I love that book! OP: That, pardon the pun, sucks. Just tell her what it really means, and if she freaks out about it, dump her.
yumyum_isacult 0
i agree with everyone here, hes a whiny little bitch. i dont get how this is an FML #30 haha
karissaaa 0
woww...haha xD
ohshitcock 0
lololololol
fuckmylife431413 0
its all good. at least she hasn't cheated on you in the past year and a half. and #2 is probably the same girl as the OP's girl
sugargirlx 0
lmao thats actually made my day
abgirl 0
So show/tell her what to do. How can you expect someone to know how to please you if you haven't shown her how? The only reason that any girl knows what she's doing down there is because someone made the effort to show her. It only takes a little bit of work to turn a novice into an expert. In fact, it might be better for you this way because she has no preconceptions about how to do it, so you can show her exactly what you want. All the guys on here who say they'd rather have someone more "experienced" are just lazy, IMO. And the same goes for any girl who expects their guy to be a pro without telling them what they want.
lmao_rofl9 0
hahahaha she's a keeper.
yumyum_isacult 0
haha i get it now. i guess im the asshole, fyl (comment #134 edit)
mrcarmine 0
LMFAO at least she does what you ask her to... as far as she knows i really want to know what happened next...