Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML
Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML
Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML
Today, I learned that my mother-in-law gives better head than my wife. How? It wasn't from my experience, but thanks to a casual conversation with my father. FML
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
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Top comments
AlittleSanity 11
The left one, right?
tacojauns 45
Hey man any hole is a goal
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Comments (117)
rozsrredd 16
Infertility is not something to joke about, I hope this was just an awkward way for your father-in-law to deal with an uncomfortable topic and not just his a-hole personality.
Blue_Bug 9
Ahahah NICE!!! Browne points for farther - in - law !!!!!
chuckcloninger 12
At which point I would have said "If you weren't my father-in-law I wound punch your friggin lights out. How dare you disrespect your daughter that way?" And then I would have gatherd my stuff and my family and left. To return only when he was ready to issue a public apology. Wake up man. You're a grown up now and it's your job to protect you're family. Even from her father. If you do he will probably have a new found respect for you.
Helldemon 32
And the reward for biggest overreaction ever goes to...
premiermois 5
Don't worry OP, took my mother actively an entire ten years to conceive me. Then she found out it was dad's fault. Maybe get yourself checked?
xs4u 13
the older they grow the more sarcastic they become about sex. llllllove old ppl talking about it hehe
Inked0803 12
Wow
mrebeccan 19
... He is awesome! This is so Chandler if he is ever put in such a situation. .. FYL though, it's only awesome from the. outside
T1A2Z3 35
If your wife hasn't shared that with her father what gives you the right to? Show a little respect