Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML
Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML
Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML
Today, I learned that my mother-in-law gives better head than my wife. How? It wasn't from my experience, but thanks to a casual conversation with my father. FML
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
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Top comments
AlittleSanity 11
The left one, right?
tacojauns 45
Hey man any hole is a goal
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Comments (117)
p36288 17
You sure he didn't talk about the barbecue?
Evgeny2222 11
Are you having problems with his question or with you father-in-law calling you a son?
Schiffy 18
"Son" is used colloquially and is not always meant to be taken literally.
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
What an uncaring response from your father towards a hard to admit issue. I hope it gets better OP!
chrisstachon 30
well there are three holes. jk
AllieCat21 21
47: I don't know if you've noticed, but not all FML's are full of humor.
Toriaraekay 1
maybe the op and his wife have been to a fertilty specialist and know that the problem is with the wife
jdime209 2
This is awkward for them to even have a conversation about this lmao
ardencred 7
Tell him to smell your dick! If its fishy smell then you're good
Shrike 24
Riiiiiiight. If either party smells fishy down there, then SOMEONE'S got a yeast infection. So what's your excuse? Virgin or just really, really unhygienic?
lolnothanks 18
Lol sounds like a cool dude xD jk
lowshadows 21
either that or your plumbings not working.