Today, I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: "Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML
Today, my husband told my mother-in-law that we're trying to have a baby. She decided to call me and explain in extreme detail what positions to try, and when. FML
Today, while at a family reunion, I jokingly asked my 18-year-old son, "When are you and your girlfriend going to give me a grandson?" He then retorted, "When are you going to die?" I was unable to answer at all. FML
Today, after the topic of grandkids came up yet again, my fiancé confessed that we've been having trouble conceiving. Later, I overheard his mum telling him to take my engagement ring back to the store and get a refund, because apparently I'm not worth marrying if I can't give him kids. FML
Today, I learned that my mother-in-law gives better head than my wife. How? It wasn't from my experience, but thanks to a casual conversation with my father. FML
Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML
Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML
Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AlittleSanity 11
The left one, right?
tacojauns 45
Hey man any hole is a goal
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
ThePsyche 9
Your username. xD
Enslaved 38
That was a loaded question. Does the dad really want to think of his daughter having anal?
Redlawnchair 9
I would be more embarrassed if I was your wife. I wouldn't want my father loudly (or quietly) mentioning any of my "holes".
IHaveNoKoolAid 10
He could have pulled out a shot gun so feel lucky
boofgall 16
27- How do you know it's not? Not everyone's going to get butthurt over a joke someone says to them. It really could have been that they really want kids and are having a hard time conceiving.
xgetxbentx 13
Just be glad he has able to joke about the thought of you porking his daughter. He could have been an asshole.
MakinMills 12
Hahaha. Your the man!
onorexveritas 24
well, it sounds like the two of you are pretty close
boofgall 16
46- Yeah? And how is that something funny to read on a humor site?
Tdog93 1
46- Do you understand subtext at ALL? Sometimes it's not all about what's plainly said, there's almost always more depth than just the surface value.