Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML
Today, my boyfriend video-called me in the middle of the night, drunk after a night out of partying. He told me that he was chatted up by a girl and proudly exclaimed that he told her off, given his status, all the while showing large hickeys on his neck. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend from two years ago called and asked to come over. Still being in love with him, I agreed to see him but decided I wasn't drunk enough to handle the stress. After a while of drinking, he said that he really missed me and wanted to be with me. My reply consisted of throwing up. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend called me by my best friend's name in bed. FML
Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to wake me up by fingering me. Let's just say going to the ER to get your tampon dug out isn't fun. FML
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Top comments
cassiecassie559 21
I hope you don't have a boyfriend either, anymore.
purebliss_fml 19
tell him he can have sex with "gross fat chicks" any time he likes because he ain't having sex with you anymore.
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Comments (135)
MotorboatMyGoat 5
I think you should be more sympathetic to that fat girls needs.
wassuploves 16
and because you stylishly don't have a heart you should dump him
Metalkitty 15
I don't understand why so many people are defending him? What if the situation was reversed, where she called him extremely drunk asking if she could pity **** a dude because she felt sorry for him? Pretty sure there would be an outrage.haha
ziy_fml 15
Tbh at least he phones and asked so you knew instead of wondering lol
inolongercare 19
Dump him!!
tnlander 20
Am I the only one here that see the good? A) no fat chicks were screwed and B) op's boyfriend asked for permission. Now she knows he's not going to really cheat. Shame on him for getting drunk but kudos for honesty.
jkjorn 18
That's assuming he didn't go ahead & screw her after hanging up on OP.. and even if he says he didn't, how can OP know for sure he's telling the truth? Major trust issues ahead, I fear.
more4me 27
I'm sorry if this was already posted but maybe it deserves to be posted more than once ... your BF is a jackass !!!!
worldclassrager 41
I hope he didn't follow through
squarecircles 13
I'm sure he must've felt pretty good the next day.
Queenie2014 11
FYL for having an asshat boyfriend. I also feel sorry for the girl he approached because I wouldn't wish an encounter with a ******** like your bf on my worst enemy.